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Monday, December 27, 2004

The Geek Files: General Hospital

"Pusher" returns- with another exciting look into her not-so-exciting past. Well, maybe it is exciting- if you're watching through tube-colored glasses.

Soap operas are traumatic. General Hospital was my one foray into soaps because of the hot guys (Duke Lavery, Robert Scorpio, Frisco Jones) and the fact that it was the only one on after school.

The bus dropped me off at 2:58pm and I was plunked on the couch by 2:59pm. Great characters, great stories, great sex scenes. (Why'd I give this up? Ah yes... the humiliation.) You see, some days when I landed on the couch, the TV was already on and I realized my mom was watching from the recliner. It's not that I didn't get to see GH those days. It's that I had to watch it with her - my MOM.

I'd pray to that there were no intimate scenes between Anna and Duke or Sean and Tiffany or Tony and Lucy. But it being a soap, there was ALWAYS a sex scene. I'd try anything to stem the awkwardness - start a conversation, go get a drink, use the bathroom. It was just too much work. It was worse when the bus was late and she'd fill me in on what I'd missed and she'd have to tell me who "slept with" whom. Ugh.

I wasn't cut out for the soap opera. Too traumatizing.

Pusher's "The Geek Files: Memoirs of a TV Addict" appears every Monday.

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