Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Random Quote of the Day

"A new Ben Stiller movie is as funny as a thick, wet and chunk-filled fart."- L.C.

Random, poignant, truthful... my eyes are welling up.

Kudrow tells HBO "I'll be there for you;" Millions Retch

Desperate for a replacement for the wildly overrated and cloying "Sex and the City," Lisa Kudrow has signed a deal to develop a comedy for HBO.

It's called "Comeback," but I prefer to use its working title, "13 Solid Half-Hours of Won't See TV."

Stern sidekick to become future ex-talk show host

Cackling Howard Stern "anchorwoman" Robin O. Quivers is shooting a pilot for her own daytime gabfest.

Would she leave the King of all Media and Shameless Plugs to join the army of shows doing pre-teen makeovers and daddy DNA tests? Personally, I'm holding out for Beetlejuice to get his own yakker. It couldn't be any worse than "The Jane Pauley Show," could it?

Another Anchor Ankles, Timing "Rather" Appropriate

Dan Rather, the ratings-repelling anchor whose offputting delivery (and bias) has kept CBS affiliates hollering for blood in recent years, finally announced he's stepping down.

Rumors that Walter Cronkite is coming out of his cryogenically preserved retirement are, so far, unfounded. But judging by his recent comments that Karl Rove "set up" the release of the last Bin Laden tape to help President Bush win re-election, we feel he'd be the perfect ideological replacement.