Friday, November 26, 2004

Are YOU a TVGeek? Take our quiz

OK, do the math, people, and find out if you qualify for true TV Geekdom.

Give yourself two points if you have more TVs in your house than people.

Give yourself two points if you watch more than 20 hours of TV a week. Add one point if you watch more than 10 hours of TV a week. However, if you watch less than 10 hours a week, then deduct one point, and if it's less than 5 hours a week, then deduct two points from your total.

Give yourself two points if you own a TiVo or DVR, and one extra point for each additional unit you have.

Got HDTV? Two points. Plasma screen gets you one more.

Add a point if you own three or more VHS machines. Add a point if at least one is a SuperVHS, and add another if you have a recordable DVD player (a computer DVD burner doesn't count, suckas).

Digital cable or satellite gets you one point. Add another point if you subscribe to two or more premium channels, and one more if you subscribe to video on demand.

Better still: an illegal descrambler box gets you two points, along with stiff fines and maybe some jail time.

Add one point if you work in television.

Tack on one point if you have a TV-related college degree.

Give yourself one point if you were involved in any TV-related activities in high school (Yes, the A/V club counts).

If you're over 30 and watch two or more shows on the WB, tack on one point.

Add one point if you have any TV-related tattoos or car signage (decals, bumper stickers, license plates).

Add two points for any child named after a TV character, and one point for any pet.

Add one point if Television Without Pity is your homepage.

Add one point if you own three or more TV-series DVD boxed sets.

15 or more: UberGeek!

You are among the TV Geek Elite. Give your daughter Sulu a celebratory kiss- if you can tear yourself away from 7th Heaven long enough. On second thought... maybe you should try reading a book (and no, TV Guide doesn't count).

12-14 points: SuperGeek!
Impressive- keep your eyes on the prize!

10-11 points: TV Geek!
Congratulations, you made it. Mom would be proud! And she said you'd never amount to anything watching such trash.

Under 10
You're not there yet, but with the proper dedication, commitment, and universal remote, you can make your dream a reality!

Post your results to the comments section- we love ratings (naturally)!

Former TV barmaid needs some Cheering up

Sad story... possibly depressed by her soon-to-be-ex husband calling out Kirstie Alley's name in bed (Fat Actress, my eye), former Cheers star Shelley Long apparantly attempted suicide.

TVGeekSpeak sends best wishes for a swift recovery. We all await her triumphant return so she can begin shooting the long-awaited Troop Beverly Hills 2.

Tivo planning intrusive pop-up ads, annoying expiration dates

This has our dander up: The life-altering Tivo, which has effectively ended any chance of us ever watching commercials or "E.R.", is planning some upsetting new "features" that are sure to have angry owners foaming at the mouth.

Well, maybe they can add a "Gold Bond" logo over a fast forwarded commercial, but they still can't make us watch Noah Wyle.

NY Post: Stahl, Stossel, Stewart should replace Danny boy

The New York Post offers some advice for when and with whom CBS should replace Dan Rather.

We say Heyward and company should just cancel the newscast outright and run a daily half-hour version of Cheaters instead. Why not?

We don't need no education... but we'll take a few quid instead

Slightly off-topic, it turns out Pink Floyd has been stiffing some former young uns out of some royalties from its biggest hit.

Turns out their offer of hallucenogenics and whores was rejected at the time. Hammer! Hammer! Hammer!