Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Nanny Sues Craggy Man-Granny Imus Over Dismissal

The stammering, impossible-to-listen-to Don Imus is accused of giving his son's nanny the heave ho over a pocket-knife and a pop gun, and faces a wrongful termination lawsuit.

Possible explanations include:

- The Imus clan was nervous she'd expose his "Ranch" for the fraud it is
- Fears that the gun's popping noise could startle Imus into an eleventh lung collapse
- Used "weapons" as an excuse when nanny refused to change the I-Man's D-Diapers

We'd be curious to hear what Mr. Imus will say about this on his show tomorrow. Since we don't know anyone who actually listens to him, however, we'll likely be left hanging like the disturbing skin flaps on his turkey neck.

Rather Peculiar

Now there are reports that Dan Rather spends his time talking to dead journalists instead of questioning his sources.

In a related story, insiders whisper Dan insists the ghost of Walter Cronkite told him the forged documents were real. Who has the heart to tell him that "the most trusted man in America" isn't all that dead?

Coming Soon: HD-DVD, More Duplicate Purchases

Studios are starting to get their technology ducks in a row to prevent an HD-compatible DVD format war.

What does this mean besides giving us Geeks an even better home viewing experience? For one, buying the FOURTH release of Boogie Nights, or countless other already re-released and remastered movies on DVD.

Who said progress was cheap?

Channel 11 "Logs" Some Yuletide Cheer

It's back for another year! New York's WPIX is once again resurrecting the Yule Log.

Hey, it beats having to sit through "Magic Garden" reruns on Christmas morning.

For The Love Of God, Would He Just Lose Already?

Rumors suggest Jeopardy know-it-all Ken Jennings finally shits the proverbial bed in the next day or two and loses.

Come on. Enough already. He's not curing cancer, he's playing a freakin' trivia game.

To paraphrase Ray Romano, let him go home and cry into a bag of money.

Tuesday Trivia: WKRP in Cincinnati

One of the following tidbits about the classic sitcom is faker than Loni Anderson's hair color. Can you spot the phony?

A) WKRP's station mascot was a carp.
B) Loni Anderson was the 1st runner-up in the 1964 Miss Michigan contest.
C) Doctor Johnny Fever had been fired from a job in Los Angeles for saying the word "Booger" on the air.
D) After the show began, a station in Georgia applied for the call letters WKRP and got them. The producers wanted to sue but the FCC ruled in favor of the station.

Answer Wednesday.

Viewers Developing ADD, But Still Love Their Primetime: Report

Viewers are watching as much primetime TV as they did 10 years ago, but they're pay less attention.

This begs the question: why would anyone dumb enough to dial up "Yes, Dear" or "My Big Fat Obnoxious Transsexual Bachelorette Makeover: Home Edition" actually pay attention to it?