NBC: The Schill Must Go On

Never a company to miss making a buck, now NBC will make product placement nearly seamless by letting you buy practically anything seen within its programming.

We can see the possibilities for this new venture a mile away. Lenny Briscoe's Brylcream? On sale! Crossing Jordan Toe Tag Gift Set? Check! Will Truman's Tru-Glide Man-Lube? Ships in 24 hours! And on the 50% off rack: Anything from LAX, Hawaii, and Father of the Pride.

Tuesday Trivia: The Jeffersons

One of the following items is faker than Mother Jefferson's teeth. Can you spot the faker?

A) George Jefferson was a navy veteran.
B) The Jeffersons' neighbor, Harry Bentely, worked as a translator at the United Nations.
C) Though it is rarely mentioned on the show, the name of the building the Jeffersons live in is called "Colby East".
D) George paid Tom $20,000 for part ownership in the building’s bar.

Answers Wednesday.

Mad Moolah for Martha; Will NBC Jettison Jane to Make Room?

With the vultures circling the dying carcass of The Jane Pauley Show, the rumors are swirling about potential replacements. And with NBC signing crafty convict Martha Stewart to an $8 million deal (that'll buy a lot of doileys), people are starting to glue-gun the pieces together.

NBC, of course, denies Jane's in danger of being replaced. But as the old saying goes, where there's smoke, there's often a fired host.

Law & Order: Missing Viewers Unit

Chung Chung! Since it takes up, like, 65% of its prime-time schedule, NBC has reason to be concerned with the plummeting ratings of the Law and Order franchise. With the rest of its sked in tatters, the 'Cockers were clearly counting on Mr. Wolf's ubiquitous dramas to keep the lights on, as it were.

With a fourth edition in the pipeline (starring the sorely missed Jerry Orbach), NBC is banking on a turnaround (or, for Father of the Pride to suddenly become a breakout hit- yeah, right). And with the original seemingly closing the gap with the unwatchably soulless CSI:NY it'll be a battle worth watching. But as much as we love the L&O's, we'd love to see a few less of these procedural dramas and a few more groundbreaking options like Lost, Nip/Tuck, and Desperate Housewives.

Just sayin'.

Finally, A Reason To Watch The O.C.

OK, I admit it- I avoid The O.C. like the plague. But FOX has caught my attention- and are gonna have affected, annoying and overrated star Mischa Barton tongue-wrestle with another chick in an upcoming episode.

Lesbian smooching is always a hit with viewers (unless, of course, Ellen is involved). So it begs the question: is it just a ratings ploy? Is Ms. Cooper just experimenting, or is she switching teams for good? No matter... I am, like so there.

DotDots: Tuesday News Roundup

CBS has picked Scottish Actor Craig Ferguson to replace the smarmily irritaing Craig Kilborn on The Late, Late Show. Poor Michael Ian Black- always a bridesmaid... Maybe Black could host the new version of A Current Affair. Twentieth Television has confirmed that a new version is in development, although without Maury Povich, who had been linked in earlier rumors... In other less-than-exciting replacement news, CNBC is replacing John McEnroe's show with future former talk show host Donny Deutsch. The goal: to see if it's actually possible to average lower than a .1... If you needed one more reason to avoid NBC's The Apprentice, here's a big one: a three hour finale. We'll take the zero, thanks.