You, Too, Can Own a Piece of Reality History- In Convenient Junk Form

What's that? You say you're desperate to score Jennifer M.'s used Pepsi Edge bottle, or some grease scraped from Brady's pole? It's your lucky day- creator Mark Burnett is auctioning off crap from The Apprentice and Survivor.

I know it's for a good cause, but who's gonna pay top dollar for used smocks and filthy camping supplies? Isn't there an easier, less moronic way to donate to charity? Anyone?

My Memory Is Playing Big Fat Tricks on Me

Hoofah!

Fat Actress Kirstie Alley says she'll shill for Jenny Craig's weight loss program. Fine. It's well documented that she's a tad... plump. Of course, how effective can she be as a diet product endorser when she's pushing 300 pounds?

We just had to comment so we could post this classic picture of her, clearly taken about 2,700 milkshakes ago. Seriously, are we sure it's the same Kirstie Alley? Have dental records been checked? How about a DNA test?

99 Word Review: The Wire

Our own Irina D is leaping on a soapbox for her 99 Word Review this week. Of course, cries for help from Irina are nothing new, but let's hear her out anyway, shall we?

I am desperate for HBO to renew The Wire. I understand why this show hasn't caught on the way The Sopranos has-- it's incredibly complicated, with dozens of characters and practically no expository dialogue; you can't watch it while folding laundry. But it's that complexity that makes it such an engrossing show. The Wire isn't afraid to throw something at you-- like the death of a pivotal character, or a quick shot of a hard-ass police lieutenant in the background of a gay bar. It's a complicated, fascinating, often tragic, story of Baltimore city streets. HBO, I'm begging you.

Irina D.'s Review: 4 out of 4 test patterns

The Wire airs on HBO (for now). Check your local listings.

Dead Like Me

Clearly making room for its new slate of reefer-oriented programming, Showtime is putting Dead Like Me six feet under (surely not the first time those two phrases have been used together by TVGeeks).

I think I was the only one on the planet who watched this quirkily uneven drama. While it was usually enjoyable, I mostly was just waiting for Ellen Muth to bust out hott. It never happened.

On the positive side, a Mandy Patinkin cancellation is never a bad thing.

UPDATE: Turns out Showtime is making room for its series version of Barbershop.

Monday Trivia Solved: Friends

Which of the following items about Friends is false?

A) Téa Leoni was the first choice for the part of "Monica", but turned it down.
B) Chandler's middle name is Muriel
C) Ross's middle name is Eustace
D) The drawings on the Magna Doodle in Joey's apartment were done by Matt LeBlanc.

The answer is D- actually, they were done by Paul Shaffer, the Electrical Best Boy.