Monday, December 27, 2004

The Geek Files: General Hospital

"Pusher" returns- with another exciting look into her not-so-exciting past. Well, maybe it is exciting- if you're watching through tube-colored glasses.

Soap operas are traumatic. General Hospital was my one foray into soaps because of the hot guys (Duke Lavery, Robert Scorpio, Frisco Jones) and the fact that it was the only one on after school.

The bus dropped me off at 2:58pm and I was plunked on the couch by 2:59pm. Great characters, great stories, great sex scenes. (Why'd I give this up? Ah yes... the humiliation.) You see, some days when I landed on the couch, the TV was already on and I realized my mom was watching from the recliner. It's not that I didn't get to see GH those days. It's that I had to watch it with her - my MOM.

I'd pray to that there were no intimate scenes between Anna and Duke or Sean and Tiffany or Tony and Lucy. But it being a soap, there was ALWAYS a sex scene. I'd try anything to stem the awkwardness - start a conversation, go get a drink, use the bathroom. It was just too much work. It was worse when the bus was late and she'd fill me in on what I'd missed and she'd have to tell me who "slept with" whom. Ugh.

I wasn't cut out for the soap opera. Too traumatizing.

Pusher's "The Geek Files: Memoirs of a TV Addict" appears every Monday.

Homer Kicks It

Seems you can kill off Homer, but you can't kill The Simpsons. Even though the storylines are getting increasingly contrived, there's a reason this show is the longest running comedy on TV: it's still brilliant. The latest example: looks like creator Matt Groening has decided to send Homer to donut heaven in an upcoming episode. The plot has something to do with Homer wanting to argue with God, blah blah blah. Of course, he'll re-join the living by episode's end.

In other Simpsons news, Ricky Gervais, mastermind behind the brilliant BBC hit The Office, has agreed to write an episode. Here's an idea: why not write some episodes of the upcoming American Office instead and make sure it's watchable? Just a thought.

Comedy Central Driven to Distraction

The answer: a new game show coming to Comedy Central. The question: What is Distraction, Alex?

Premise? (There's a premise?) People do extreme, gross-me-out-and-gag-me-with-a-spoon challenges while answering a few general knowledge questions. Sounds like either the thinking man's Fear Factor- or Jeopardy for imbeciles. Which is closer to the truth (without going over)? We'll have 12 episodes to find out- starting January 18th!

Baio's Back?

Looks like happy days are here again for Chachi. After years of doing seemingly nothing except banging tons of Hollywood babes, Scott Baio just scored himself a script commitment for an NBC sitcom.

No truth to the rumor that the network is holding intense negotiations with Donny Most and Willie Aames to co-star.