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Monday, January 24, 2005

The Geek Files: Right Down To The Toilet

They say life imitates art. Pusher would agree- especially if you consider the classic sitcom Seinfeld "art." Here's this week's Geek Files.

I kick Jerry Seinfeld's ass. OK - not so much in bringing the funny but definitely in the no-vomit streak.

In the chocolate Babka episode of his landmark series, Seinfeld went 14 years (beginning in 1980) without puking his guts out. That's quite a run. If only he didn't "look to the cookie" for racial harmony maybe he wouldn't have tossed his.

So why do I kick his ass? 22 years, my friends. My streak was 22 years. Oh, you caught the "was," did you? Alas, I have no tragic tale of binge-drinking nor comedic story of black and white cookies. I only have Dominoes pizza... ordered in The Bahamas... at 10:30pm... after a day of conch fritters, plantains, ice cream and a beer won in a rousing game of poolside bingo.

22 years "right down the toilet," as Seinfeld would have said. I didn't even know what to do; couldn't decide if I stand or squat in front of the toilet. Actually lifting the seat never even entered my mind; although I did consider puking into the tub instead since it had ample room.

By the end of the night only one thing made the entire experience bearable. While flipping through the channels of the TV awaiting my Milk of Magnesia rescue I came across... (wait for it) the chocolate Babka episode of Seinfeld! No joke.

There is a God and God can bring the funny too.

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