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Thursday, March 31, 2005

Sportztyme! In the Paint

WGN in Chicago may be the home of the Cubs, but after that, their contributions to sports television drop like Johnny Cochran after seeing his brain surgeon's bill.

So it makes one wonder what on earth they are thinking with their latest brilliant idea. They are launching an original series next month called "Ultimate Arena Paintball". I'm not making this up...and once you hear the title, you can understand why this is original. No one ever bothered putting these idiots on TV before.

Truth be told, there is an actual World Paintball League and an Ultimate Arena Paintball League. I'm guessing the latter doesn't get the Good Housekeeping seal of approval for shooting guns in the house. In the WPL, there are 24 professional teams and in the UAPL (even the acronyms suck) there are 215 different squads separated into divisions based either on skill or chromosome count.

So the good folks in the Windy City thought it would be swell to put this tripe on television. They are going to show these "games" as if they were real, organized sports. I'm not against the idea of paintball as a solitary diversion. You know, one of those "team-building" events where everyone just wants to get a clean shot at the boss's ass for moving them down the hall to the office with no window next to the snack machine and the bathrooms.

But that doesn't mean I want to see these morons on my tube acting like Rambo in the jungles of Laos. They aren't liberating a small country, there are no hostage missions here, and yet I get the strange feeling these guys take to this activity with the intensity of a lioness on a diseased yak.

I'll file this one under "watch to make you feel better about yourself" and hope someone slips a real bullet or two in those guns once in a while.

1 other geekspeak:

  • You are a geek, cause you haven't seen the show. Because it's nothing like what youi think it is.
    20 million play the sport, 6 times the number of hockey players. Why don't you try it first, or our you worried you might break a nail or ruin your hair?

    By Blogger paintball phil, at 12:48 AM  

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