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Friday, June 03, 2005

Aching News: You’ll Have to Look Deep for Coverage of Mr. Throat on FNC

From the Desk of MC Hatorade at United Hate Press International:

On May 31st, 2005, one of the great stories in the history of journalism reached a sort of a denouement. If you don’t know what denouement means, look it up in the dictionary. That’s what my mother taught me to do: always read with a dictionary close by. I still do it, especially when I read The New Yorker, which requires constant trips through the pages of my Merriam Webster’s.

Yes, we had something of a denouement to the Washington Post’s historic Watergate story this week, as Deep Throat was revealed, or he revealed himself, as it were. Take a wild guess which network didn’t give a shit? Fox News Channel. That’s right. Fat-cat neocon Roger Ailes, who worked for Nixon by the way, buried the story, and had Bill O’Reilly talk about some murder story from whoknowswhere, U.S.A. because, well he’s smart. Mullet-men watch FNC. Oh, and O’Reilly also felt it crucial on the day one of the biggest stories in months hit to devote some time on his broadcast to the very important issue of people in Hollywood pushing Scientology.

It didn’t stop there. Hannity and Colmes mentioned five other stories in their show open before doing just a nuts and bolts segment on Deep Throat with Steve Cent'anni. Then they got off the topic for the rest of the hour including a lovely piece detailing how “Live Aid” was actually bad for Ethiopia back in 1985. Good lord, man. Sorry, I didn’t watch the entire show. Who can watch Hannity and Colmes for an entire hour anyway?

You know what’s great about Roger Ailes? He probably thinks MSNBC and CNN were all over the Deep Throat story so they’d have another chance to trash President Nixon. Well, Mr. Ailes, it just so happens that we have an even more pathetic Republican in office today, so why would the more “liberal” news nets care about making fun of Tricky Dick again? Even Mr. Ailes should realize that as a journalist, well, not sure he deserves that title, but as a person in the news business, that Watergate is one of the biggest news stories of all time, and it deserved the bulk of his network’s primetime attention that night. Yet another reason why FNC is not fair and balanced.

Now, the other part of their slogan…”that America trusts,” well, I don’t trust FNC, but I can’t speak for everyone.

Until next week, don’t be a CREEP, oh and did you know there was a Watergate Hotel in Thailand? I sure as hell didn’t.

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