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Monday, June 06, 2005

The Geek Files: Growing Pains at the Workplace

Don't you wish life lessons could be taught in a neatly tied-up thirty minutes just like a sitcom? I'm tempted to show my boss just one episode of Growing Pains in the hopes of making my life and those of my co-workers just a little bit better.

The man has a slight problem with... how shall I put this? Well, frankly... he's got a problem with ACTUALLY SHOWING UP FOR WORK. I believe he's under the impression that if he's not present nothing of any consequence can possibly be happening. This is where Growing Pains comes in.

I figure, if Mike Seaver can learn the error of this thinking, surely a vice president can.

Have you seen this episode? Oh, you remember. Mike fakes being sick so he gets to stay home from school. As he flips on the TV, the theme to Gilligan's Island begins. Mike sings along for a second then turns off the TV - apparently too cool for Gilligan's Island. But he turns it back on and realizes he's missed some of the song. Stunned, he repeats the act - sings along, turns off the TV, then on again. Gilligan's Island continues even if he's not watching! Realization sets in - "If I'm not at school, surely life is going on there without me. What could I be missing?!"

This is all I ask my boss to absorb. We're here busting our asses. If he's not here to approve our work, and/or give feedback, everyone gets screwed. It's quite simple really. All I need is young, goofy-glue incident conspirator, Mike Seaver (as opposed to lame-ass born-again, older Mike Seaver) to demonstrate.

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