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TVGeekSpeak.com



Friday, July 01, 2005

Sportztyme! Sportspourri



I know you've been sworn in, I have read your complaint.

Some random thoughts and observations in the fortnight since we last spoke:

NBA Draft- Could there be a less appealing or interesting sports production? Just because so many people think it's worth hours and hours of coverage, debate, and dissection doesn't mean it's at all relevant to the average viewer. After pick #15 or so...I'd wager that 70% of basketball fans probably don't even recognize most of the names called.

The NBA goes as far as people like Shaquille O'Neal take it. After Michael Jordan walked away... so did a majority of the fan base, at least those fans with discernable income and an IQ north of 90. College basketball has eclipsed the pros as the definitive source for the sport's entertainment. And no amount of watching 19 and 20 year olds becoming instant millionaires can change that overnight.

Wimbledon - Much like the regular season's for basketball and hockey (when it HAD a regular season) I must admit I won't pay much attention to the All England club until they reach the semifinals, or until someone big gets beat by some frog French guy in the second round. I'm sure this event has it's relevance, but the numbers for NBC affiliates in the middle of the day prove that by and large... most viewers at that time would rather see who's sleeping with whom on "their stories".

And as a side note... the women's game is so much more fun to watch. Tennis is one of the few sports (perhaps the only) where this is true. But why must most of the female players grunt, groan, and moan like they are spending a night with me whenever they hit the ball? I doubt that it's because they exert themselves any more than the men. Since Monica Seles started all this noise pollution, there has been a dirge of high-decibel din coming from these players on each shot. Get two of them together, and it's tough to tell who's winning, and who is on death's doorstep (although Maria Sharapova can do whatever she wants, as long as she does it to me).

Finally, Dancing With the Stars- I know it's a stretch, but since at its heart it is a competition, I think I can safely comment here. I was bound and gagged and forced to watch half an episode of this wretched broadcast on my vacation. It calls to mind a segment on The Late Show with David Letterman... hosted by his announcer Alan Kolter. It's called "Are You Fucking Kidding Me???". First off, the title Dancing With The Stars- with people like Joey from New Kids On The Block, J. Peterman (or whatever his name was) from Seinfeld, and Evander Holyfield, the "Stars" part of the title is at best a stretch, and at worst, flat out false advertising. Whoever thought it was a good idea to teach these people ballroom and other forms of dancing and put it on TV to have people vote must either smoke a ton of weed, or have been dropped on their head as a child. Who in their right mind would sit down to watch this garbage willingly???

What? How many million? I need to meet these people that are that easily entertained with that much free time on their hands. Scary.

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