2005 Geek of the Year: Dan Rather
He stood behind forged documents. He arrogantly refused to apologize. And Dan Rather paid with his gig, tarnishing an entire news division in the process.
Mr. Rather, it's no mistake that the ratings for The CBS Evening News started ticking up the day after you "stepped down" (before you were kicked). You were always uncomfortable to watch, despite your attempt at humanity with those silly "Ratherisms" ("This race is shakier than cafeteria Jell-O!"). The fact that Americans prefer the nameless, faceless Bob Schieffer to you says a whole lot.
So, TVGeekSpeak.com bestows upon you, Mr. Rather, the ultimate honor (or, more accurately, diss): You are our 2005 Geek of the Year.
Enjoy your imminent retirement. I know we will.
Martha Stewart: Her comeback wasn't all it was cracked up to be: her two TV shows were disappointments (Martha has attracted mediocre numbers, and The Apprentice Martha Stewart, was an absolute ratings fiasco). Even the unauthorized TV movie about her (Martha Behind Bars) sucked. Guess that trip to jail was really for nothing.
Anyone involved with Saturday Night Live: Lorne, listen up: it's over. Really. I don't care what the ratings say. Of course, NBC does, and will probably renew you guys for another 30 years. Feh.
Pat O'Brien: You know, I remember thinking earlier in the year that the biz was missing a good old fashioned perv. Thanks, Pat, for filling the void.