Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Who's Your Daddy? Turns Out, Nobody Cares

All the hype was for naught: FOX's bottom-of-the-barrel reality special Who's Your Daddy? took it in the kiester last night, finishing fourth in its time slot.

Congratulations, reality junkies. You done good. Your pusher offered you the deal of a lifetime, and you were able to lay off the hard stuff. You just... said... no.

Now, if we can only get you to kick American Idol cold turkey...

J-Gar gets a V-Inf, But Alias Won't Get Lost

Uh oh.

Jennifer Garner is down with a viral infection and will be cancelling promotional appearances for Elektra.

We wish her a speedy recovery and advise her to rest comfortably until she feels better. That is, as long as it doesn't affect her skimpy outfit-wearing and ass-kicking on Alias.

Speaking of, looks like Ken Olin is preparing for his back-to-back Wednesday timeslots by shaking up Sydney's world again, according to the NY Daily News' David Bianculli. Wonder if there's any chance of seeing Sydney make out with her hott new sister? You know, to save the world? I guess we'll have to tune in to find out!

NBC Shows Its Generous Side

No, they haven't cancelled ER. But NBC is doing something remarkably noble: it would air a star-heavy Tsunami telethon Saturday January 15th at 8pm on all of its affiliates and cable networks (including USA, Bravo, Trio, Sci-Fi, MSBNC, CNBC, Telemundo and Pax).

We won't be cynical and point out that NBC usually can't get arrested on Saturdays at 8pm... we'll just applaud the network for its nice gesture.

That 70's Mo'

In today's Don't Know When To Quit Dept.:

E! Online reports that Fox is thinking about renewing the steadily declining That 70's Show for yet another season, even if it means no Topher Grace and Ashton Kutcher, the show's two biggest stars.

This show had its day, but now, it's clearly ready for Disco Demolition night. The stars aren't getting any younger, so we say: let them go! Give Wilder more time to bed underage teen starlets. Give Ashton more time to close the chronological gap between himself and Demi. But most importantly, give Laura the freedom she needs to shoot that soft-core nudie flick we know she's been yearning to make.

Happy Effing New Year!

Sure, we missed out on Dick Clark's annual on-camera wife mauling. But that doesn't mean viewers were completely deprived of explicit New Year's Eve on-screen activity. Apparantly, on The Tonight Show's New Year's Special, Vince Neil of Motley Crue let loose an f bomb on live TV. It was edited out for the west coast re-feeds.

An NBC spokeswoman said they'd recieved no complaints about the incident. She didn't mention it was because nobody was actually choosing Jay over Regis.

99 Word Review: The McLaughlin Group

Today's 99 Word Review takes us to the battlegrounds of Sunday morning political talk shows. Is it Meet The Press? WRONG! Is it Face The Nation? WRONG! OK, enough... see for yourself.

The McLaughlin Group still reminds me of the Dana Carvey SNL sketch. It was never wildly off the mark: McLaughlin’s a loud, obtuse codger. His crotchety ringleading does lead a spirited debate of Washington's top issues.

You can quibble with the pundits: Eleanor Clift , a shrill, loudmouthed lefty; the more reasonable liberal, Ken doll Lawrence O'Donnell; and the occasionally enlightening, always condescending conservative Tony Blankley. But the big surprise: Pat Buchanan. Removed from campaigning, he’s witty, reasonable, and likeable, regardless of your politics.

Overall, you should walk away from a Sunday political show annoyed… and McLaughlin doesn't disappoint.

TVGS rating: three test patterns out of four.

The McLaughlin Group is syndicated and airs Sunday mornings. Check your local listings.

Tuesday Trivia: TV Tunes

Which show did Mike Post NOT do the theme song for?

A) L.A. Law
B) Blossom
C) Quantum Leap
D) Maverick

We'll name that tune in three notes- tomorrow.

Monday Trivia Solved: M*A*S*H

From yesterday: Which of the following statements about M*A*S*H is false?

A) Charles Emerson Winchester was stationed in Hong Kong before he was transferred to the 4077.
B) BJ's name comes from his parents': Bea and Jay Hunnicut.
C) "Hotlips" Houlihan, Hawkeye Pierce, and Father Mulcahy are the only three characters who appear both in the first episode
and the last.
D) Frank Burns had three middle names during his time on the show: W., Marion and D.

The answer is A. Charles Emerson Winchester was stationed in Tokyo prior to holing up in The Swamp.