Clock Ticks Towards 24 Premiere

Jack's back. And the media blitz is on.

With the 24 season beginning Sunday with 4 episodes on back-to-back nights, journalists just can't write enough about the action-packed FOX drama. And the reviews are mostly positive.

While I haven't seen any of the first four episodes (what do you think, I have connections?) I've already given my thumbs up, since they've excised the stratospherically moronic Kim (Elisha Cuthbert) from the cast. Her cleavage will be missed- her criminally lame storylines will not.

Check out some of the media coverage below.

Related Links:
Entertainment Weekly: 24
USA Today: You Don't Know Jack
USA Today: Here's How They Figure In
USA Today: What a difference a day makes on 24
N.Y. Daily News: ig, big hand for new clock
N.Y. Times: New Web of Fear, Same Secret Agent
N.Y. Times: We'll Win This War - on 24
Chicago Sun-Times: Bauer needs a shot in the arm - or the head
CNN: How far will 24 go?

Things Looking Up For The Peacock?

So far, midseason has been kind to NBC. Medium had a strong Monday debut, mounting a noble challenge to CBS' CSI: Miami. On Tuesday, Committed showed some ratings promise, and on Wednesday, Law & Order actually beat CSI:NY.

If CBS' CSI: spinoffs continue to show weakness, NBC may be able to salvage a dismal season. But if crappy kumquats like Joey and The Apprentice continue to underwhelm, and ABC's Wednesday continues to steamroll, the Peacock will still come up short at season's end.

Drinking Pains

Tracey Gold-Marshall, who played Carol Seaver on the '80's sitcom Growing Pains, pleaded guilty to drunk driving yesterday. She overturned her SUV, injuring her husband and kids in the process.

Wonder if her TV brother Kirk Cameron worked any of his born-again magic during the latest reunion movie? Glug, glug.

TVGS Inter-Office Memo Accuses Geek-In-Chief of ABC Ass-Sucking

As the Geek-In-Chief, it looks like I need to set the record straight.

I received a communique from fellow Geek Uncle Buster last night, who, it seems, has had just about enough of my Alias/Lost shill job. He even accused me of being on ABC's payroll! (I'm not.)

So, a clarification: While, in my opinion, the Alias/Lost combo comprises two of the best hours on television, it by no means signifies that I have a blind, rapturous devotion to the Alphabet Net. In fact, outside of Wednesday night and possibly Sunday, I find ABC's programming repugnantly unwatchable.

Is that better, Uncle Buster? Yeesh. Show a little praise, get a little static. The building blocks of TVGeekSpeak!

Fear Factor Viewer Smells a Rat

In one of the dumbest lawsuits ever, grossed-out Fear Factor viewer Austin Aitken is suing NBC for $2.5 million. His complaint: a Fear Factor episode featuring contestants eating rats mixed in a blender made him toss his cookies.

Hey, genius: It's Fear Factor, not Emeril Live. What do you expect them to eat- jambalaya?

Weather Channel Forecast: Hott and Stormy

The Weather Channel has found itself in the eye of a hurricane of sorts. Marny Stanier Midkiff, a former high-ranking weatherwoman at TWC, is suing, saying her dismissal was sexist and age-ist. Her claim is she and other aging weather chicks at the network are being nudged aside for younger, more nubile on-air talent possessing a different set of "assets," apparantly easily displayed by low-cut blouses and tight skirts.

Multiple choice wise-ass commentary follows. Choose for yourself!

A) How could something so wrong feel so right?

B) What is this world coming to? After all, there's nothing sexier than a dowdy, middle-aged woman delivering the mild spores report.

C) It's a step in the right direction, but until they hire Lindsay Lohan, I'm not watching.

D) Their new approach has had some success, lowering the age of the average Weather Channel viewer to 78.

E) No confirmation to the rumor that the male meteorologists will now be required to wear loincloths.

Geek Of The Week

J.J. Abrams, Executive Producer

Singlehandedly transformed one of ABC's weakest nights into one of the most-watched on network TV with his innovative Lost and Alias.

Now if he'll only tell us: What's on that island?

Runner up: Tucker Carlson, fired by CNN and possibly headed to also-ran MSNBC. Couldn't Fox News use another conservative voice? Seems to be a real void over there.

The Friday Eff Off: Today

This week, Uncle Buster takes America's number one morning show to task. But first... this is Today... on NBC.

The Today Show is dubbed “America’s First Family.” Not of news.

Matt Lauer is a capable interviewer. But Katie Couric is more interested in how hip she can be… and Ann Curry belongs on a soap opera with her pregnant pauses and overreactions.

I think the Cojo dude from People magazine is gay. Not quite sure.

And the dumbasses lined up outside totally suck. Stop encouraging those idiots!!!

I accept the show had to change to a more magazine-ish format, but if you’re looking for any substantive news of the day, and you tune in after 7:15, you are SOL.

Today airs weekday mornings on NBC. Uncle Buster's The Friday Eff Off appears... well... every Friday. Nimrod.

Thursday Trivia Solved: Family Ties

Which Family Ties "fact" is false?

A) Timothy Busfield played Elise Keaton's brother.

B) Alex was born in Africa when Elyse and Steven were serving in the Peace Corps.

C) The name of the public television station that Stephen Worked for was WKS.

D) It was never revealed what the P in Alex P. Keaton stood for.

Whoops. Turns out two answers are correct: A (Tom Hanks actually played Elise Keaton's brother) and D.