As the beginning of the final season of the The Osbournes
approaches, I got to thinking about when I first saw show a few years back.
I'll admit it- I was hooked. I had never seen anything like it ("I'm the prince of fucking darkness!"
), and my love for the show was enough to made me break my two biggest rules (never watch MTV, and eff reality shows). If only I knew what it would eventually do to my beloved tube.
When Ozzy & Co. returned for the second season, the novelty wore off and the thrill, for me anyway, was gone. But soon after, a steady stream of imitators began to appear, and haven't stopped: The Anna Nicole Smith Show, Newlyweds,
and The Simple Life
: all unwatchable one-trick ponies cluttering valuable on-air real estate. And, quite frankly, there seems to be no end in sight.
Check out the new slate of "Look-at-me, I'm-a-star-with-a-wacky-off-camera-life" crapola: Farrah Fawcett, Wayne Newton, Tommy Lee- there's even a show tracking the strangest couple ever: Brigitte Nielsen and Flavor Flav (Strange Love
Who cares about these people? The ironic thing seems to be how that once someone becomes an irrelevant Hollywood ex-celebrity, some network executive immediately thinks it's a great idea to give them a reality show. It's as if they say, "Look how interesting these people have become, now that they're uninteresting!" Feh.
And is there really an audience for all this garbage? I suppose somebody
is watching, or they wouldn't keep churning out these shows faster than new Paris Hilton porno tapes. But it won't be me this time. They got me once, but never again.
The real reality: there's much more interesting stuff to watch. Period.
Speak From The Geek-In-Chief appears every Wednesday.