Friday, January 21, 2005

SpongeBob Queerpants?

First it was Tinky Winky, the purple Teletubbie. Now, Christian Conservative groups have issued a new gay alert over a children's video starring SpongeBob Squarepants.

The video, which is being sent to 61,000 schools in March, is purported to promote tolerance and diversity- but uber-religious tighty-Righties don't like that the agenda includes sexual identity.

Am I missing something? Unless there's a scene that features SpongeBob teabagging Bob The Builder, is it really such a bad thing for children to realize that all people are different? I guess the Church only approves tolerance videos that also promote, you know, intolerance.

Geek Of The Week

This week, it's a no-brainer: Rob Blair, ex-Vegas weatherman, wins hands down for his highly racist on-air 'slipup'.

Runner up: Richard Hatch. Who cares about his tax problems? And is he that stupid to hide cash from the IRS? He did win a million bucks on national TV, right?

Related link: What Year Is This?

Tuning Out

FCC Chairman Michael Powell is reportedly stepping down.

Will this mean an easing of the ridiculous indecency paranoia, or was he just the tip of the iceberg? It will be interesting to see what direction the new appointee takes...

No Good News For Goodman

Effective immediately, CBS has yanked Center Of The Universe from its schedule. This follows the quick hook NBC gave to the creepy, expensive and hilariously unfunny animated fiasco Father Of The Pride.

Makes us wish he was starring in a third show so we can go for the hat trick.

CBS Counting On NUMB3RS

CBS premieres another procedural crime drama on Sunday. (Oh, goody!) This one replaces forensics with numerology. What's next? A robot abacus that can fight crime?

The premise sounds iffy, and the promos didn't pique my interest... but, hey- the critics seem to dig it.

Chicago Tribune: "Dramatic problems"
Seattle Times: "Numb3rs worth the investment"
Boston Globe: "Strained"
NYDailyNews: "Numb3rs doesn't quite add up"
USA Today: Numb3rs pays off
NYTimes: "Blood, math and gore. It could work"
NY Post: "By-the-numbers crime drama"

Ripa a New One: A Simple Impression

What could be more annoying than watching Nicole Richie on TV?

How about watching her imitate Kelly Ripa on MadTV?

Ick. Looks like I'm going to bed early on Saturday night.

Weekend Tube

Friday: The slightly overrated Monk is back, with an itty Bitty change: Adrian gets a new sidekick, played by Traylor Howard. The season premiere of The World Series of Blackjack on GSN should excite... well, no one. Also, Best Week Ever has its season premiere on VH1, but it's a matter of opinion. I thought the third week of 1995 was pretty hard to beat.

Saturday: TLC takes one step closer to changing their tagline to "All Trading Spaces, all the time!" as they exile Genevieve Gorder to a small New York town for a Town Haul. If drama's more your thing, find out if it's true that once you play black, you'll never go back, and check out Anthony Hopkins in The Human Stain on STARZ! If you're looking for icky, there's Larva all over Sci-Fi. And finally, White House Pets airs at 8pm on Animal Planet. Wonder if they'll count Monica?

Sunday: I was counting on skipping CBS' NUMB3RS, until I found out a friend's brother is working on it. Now I'm obligated to give it a cursory look-see. It's just as well, because it'll make it easy to miss the Wayne Newton filler The Entertainer. And if Young Blades, a futuristic Three Musketeers-type yarn, sounds interesting, just remember: it's on friggin' PAX. Honestly. Who's watching PAX?

The Friday "Eff-Off:" The Golden Girls

Everybody loves The Golden Girls, right? Wrong! Uncle Buster never got the joke- and still refuses to watch this comedy classic. Here is his 99 word rationale in this week's The Friday Eff Off

For starters, this show mostly runs in syndication on Lifetime, which is more than enough reason for me not to watch. No self-respecting male watches anything on Lifetime.

Geriatric humor usually struggles. A kid throwing food all over is funny. An old person doing the same thing? Unfunny.

Betty White never had any jokes other than something about her stupid hometown. I don’t know which writer thought making Rue McClanahan a sex object was a good idea… probably the same one trying to pass Bea Arthur off as a woman.

If these are the “Golden” years, I’ll take the silver.

Thursday Trivia Solved: Network Knowledge, Part Four

Which show never aired on FOX?

A) Women In Prison
B) The Larry Sanders Show
C) Dream On
D) Grounded For Life

The answer is B. It's Garry Shandling's Show aired on Fox, but Sanders didn't.