Tuesday, February 01, 2005

PTC Wants Its MTV To Stop "Selling Smut to Children"

The Parents Television Council is pissed off again.

It's releasing a new study, “MTV Smut Peddlers: Targeting Kids with Sex, Drugs and Alcohol,” that claims MTV programming contains far more sex and foul language than anything found on adult-targeted television.

Findings include:

● MTV transmits an average of 9 sexual scenes per hour with approximately 18 sexual depictions and 17 instances of sexual dialogue or innuendo (compared to 5.8 instances of sexual content per hour on the broadcast networks)

● MTV subjects viewers to roughly 8.9 un-bleeped profanities per hour, and an additional 18.3 bleeped profanities per hour (compared to 6.5 uses of foul language per hour on the broadcast networks)

● Music videos contained more foul language and violence than MTV’s series or specials, but MTV’s reality shows had more sexual content than the videos.
● MTV special Spring Break Fantasies had the highest sexual content, (32 sexual segments per hour)

Wow! I gotta start watching more MTV. Scha-WING!

MTV2's Doggin' It

MTV2 has a new, disturbing, mutant mascot.

The two-headed dog logo, along with a new look for MTV's sister channel, will be officially revealed during the Super Bowl halftime show, but New Yorkers have been getting a mysterious preview over the last few weeks.


ABC Loves Heaton

Patricia Heaton of the soon-to-be-ending Everybody Loves Raymond has signed a big-bucks development deal with ABC.

We suggest she not call Julia Louis-Dreyfus for advice.

Nets Say No To Anti-Bush Ad, Yes to Disturbing, Unfunny, Mutated Talking Baby

The 4 major networks, who are all showing tomorrow night's State Of The Union address, are refusing to air an ad criticizing President Bush's effort to clamp down on medical malpractice lawsuits.

But no network has stepped up and banned the far more queaze-inducing Baby Bob/Quiznos ads. So it's clearly not an issue of taste.

Trump Humps For New Schlump

Are you jonesing to become the next wanna-be Apprentice to have The Donald's size twelve buried in your kiester?

Then check out the casting call for season 4.

Can You Watch Me Now? Gooooood!

Wow- TV on my cell phone?

Dial me in, yo.

Carson Tribute Better Late Than Never

David Letterman returned to The Late show from a planned break last night and paid homage to his late mentor, Johnny Carson. Letterman did a monologue of jokes completely written by Carson, and had Peter Lassally and Doc Severinsen on to wax poetic about their old boss.

Insiders always believed Carson thought Letterman was the better choice to take over his The Tonight Show, and if you look at the quality of Dave and Jay's work since Johnny's retirement, his creative instinct was clearly correct. The ratings, however, have not beared that out, as Leno regularly trounces Dave.

NBC: "Sweeps Becoming Obsolete"

NBC chief Jeff Zucker says that with the Super Bowl now airing during February every year, "Sweeps really are becoming obsolete."

Let's see: NBC won't have a Superbowl again until, like, never. Meanwhile, during the all-important February ratings book, FOX has the big game plus multiple American Idol episodes, and both CBS and ABC have considerably more ratings "mo" than the Peacock.

If I were Zucker, I guess that would be my spin too.

24 in 99: 1:00pm-2:00pm

Here's the most succinct synopsis of 24 on the internet- 99 words from JoeVideo, and you're all caught up on this week's episode. Hence the title... 24 in 99.

The terrorists control many nuclear plants – they’re going to meltdown if Edgar can’t stop them! Marianne continues betraying CTU, and sends bad-dudes after Jack and Audrey. Dina betrays Navi to save Behrooz and takes a bullet. The pointless plot involving Driscoll’s SchiZodaughter continues. Richard Heller leaves CTU and offers up no info. (Madwan is “The Mummy!”) Edgar controls most of the nuclear plants, but not 6 of ‘em. Audrey and Jack view surveillance tapes of the American dude, but are attacked (again). Jack realizes CTU is compromised. Who can he trust? How can they escape this time? TONY ALMEDA!

For daily TV Headlines, features, and trivia, tune in to your inner geek at!

Tonight's Tube

On NYPD Blue, Sipowicz gets promoted (it’s about time). NBC will show The Most Outrageous Moments of Live TV- on tape, of course. For Alias fans, Carl Lumbly stars in The Color of Friendship on Disney. And for the truly masochistic, a 4 hour, bloated-by-commercials Waterworld on SciFi will wash away whatever patience you have left for Kevin Costner.

Shameless Promo: The Idiot Box- Vote Now!

Don't forget to vote in today's "Idiot Box" poll in the right hand column!

TV on DVD: This Week's New Releases

The following TV related DVDs are available in stores starting today.

Andromeda: Season 3 Collection
Beastmaster: Season One Vol 1 and 2
Charmed: Complete First Season
Cheers: Complete Fourth Season
Degrassi Junior High: Season 1
Frasier: Complete Fourth Season
I Love Lucy: Complete Third Season
Oz: Complete Fourth Season
Penn & Teller: Bullshit! Season 2
Sealab 2021: Season 2
Taxi: The Complete Second Season
Wonderfalls: Complete Series

TVGS Recommendation

99 Word Review: Celebrity Poker Showdown

We're going "All-in" for this week's 99 Word Review.

I'll admit it. I enjoy watching pros play poker on TV. I also enjoy watching egotistical novice celebrity hacks play poker on TV. Which makes me thankful for Bravo's Celebrity Poker Showdown. It’s just like those professional poker shows, except we get to see the poker skills (or lack thereof) of quasi-celebs like Scott Stapp, Chevy Chase and Dave Navarro. The interaction is king; since the stars are playing for charity, without incessantly plugging anything, you can get a true peek inside their souls- for better or worse. As far as "reality" TV goes, that's a pretty good bet.

For daily TV Headlines, features, and trivia, tune in to your inner geek at!

Geek/CounterGeek: The Apprentice

I learned something new about Vito this week. Oh, sure, I knew he wasted an hour a week watching Survivor, but I didn't expect him to fess up to digging The Apprentice. Well, turns out he not only watches The Donald's bitchfest- he's also his usual uncertain self on where it fits into the scheme of the world. Here's this week's Geek/CounterGeek.

Geek: The Apprentice Is Not Reality
As the third season of The Apprentice trudges along, I've found myself more and more bothered by the very premise of the show. In the intro every week, as Donald Trump (insert lame hair joke here) struts out of his limo and flies around in his helicopter, he calls the show a "sixteen week job interview" for someone who will "run one of my companies."

Week after week, his job applicants have a ridiculous task to perform. Launch a restaurant, groom dogs in Central Park or come up with an ad campaign for the latest brand that pays to have its product "placed" on the show, all in two days. Who the hell ever ran a business like that? In reality, new products are developed, tested, retested and marketed over the course of months or even years.

The restaurant business in NYC is as tough as it gets (The Restaurant, anyone?) and nobody opens their doors after a day of preparation and has patrons. Hell, a crackhead with a bucket and some soap might make a couple of bucks washing dogs in the park, but it doesn't mean he could run a company. That would only qualify him to be mayor of Washington D.C. The "job" the winner gets is BS too, as their hands are held tighter than Joan Rivers' cheeks after "Facelift Fridays."

It's ri-godddamn-diculous.

CounterGeek: The Apprentice Is Harmless Fun

How much reality TV even remotely resembles reality? Have seven complete strangers ever moved into a giant house together? Would Flava Flav have ever met Brigitte Nielsen without cameras around? C'mon, if 16 people were really fighting for survival on a deserted island, someone would be bludgeoned to death with a coconut. People watch this stuff because the situations are fun and ridiculous and unreal.

The thing that is real is how these people react to pressure and confrontation, and to each other. It's no coincidence that the most popular segment of The Apprentice is the boardroom. Viewers love to see these cocky, opinionated, type-a overachievers turn on each other and grovel to Donald Trump.

These kinds of shows are about scheming, cheating, arguing, backstabbing and screwing the other guy to get ahead. What could be more real than that?

What's your take? Post a comment now!

For daily TV Headlines, features, and trivia, tune in to your inner geek at!

Tuesday Trivia: &

Which show never existed?

a) Flash & The Fanelli Boys
b) Me & The Boys
c) Rhythm & Blues
d) MacGruder & Loud

Answers tomorrow.

Monday Trivia Solved: S.H.O.W.S.

Which of the following was NOT a real show?

a) Acopulco H.E.A.T.
b) W.E.B.
c) Project U.F.O.
d) A.D.A.

Answer: d) A.D.A.. Totally freakin' made up.