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Thursday, February 24, 2005

Grubman Gets Show on MTV; Geeks Unanimously Nauseous

If you're ugly, annoying, and enjoy drunkenly running over people, congratulations: you now qualify to have your own TV show.

OK, in fairness, it is on the utterly unwatchable MTV, but still: what is the fascination with this scourge on humanity?

CSI Characters To Exchange DNA; 'Shippers Ecstatic

As producers look to add some sexual sizzle to CSI, it appears Catherine Willows (Marg Helgenberger) and Warrick Brown (Gary Dourdan) will soon be covered with each other's epithelials.

Oh, goody. Let's mess up another solid show with annoying post-bang bitching between characters.

The Reality Is, Schefft's Had Enough

And, quite frankly, so have we.

Go away.

TiVo Takes New York

Big city DVR newbies are finding out what we veterans have known for years: once you have one, there's no going back.

Awards Shows Losing Ratings

The glut of televised awards shows is finally taking its toll on viewers. Ratings are slipping big-time, thanks to their been-there-done-that feel.

Our theory: Star Jones Reynolds' red carpet coverage is scaring viewers away.

Brooke Shields Has That New Car Smell

Oh, is that what it was?

We just thought it was Jean Nate.

Familiar Faces to Fill Fall Schedules

We already warned you that the completely irritating J-Love Hewitt is getting her own CBS pilot. Now, there's word that plenty of other famous names have begun jockeying for position on the networks' fall schedules.

Joining the parade are 24's Sarah "Nina Myers" Clarke, 7th Heaven's Barry Watson, Rosanna Arquette, Dawson's Creek star James Van Der Beek, Less Than Perfect's Zachary Levi, Natasha Henstridge, Dylan Baker, Carla Gugino, and Denise Richards.

Not an A-lister among them.

Today's Tubeservations

Lost: Sure, the Kims' storyline is interesting, but they already had a backstory episode. I want to find out about the fat dude! When does Hurley get his turn? And why did WABC have to run a weather crawl over crucial subtitles in the opening scene? Moronic... Alias: Last night's episode had all the makings of back-to-basics Alias: Action, Rambaldi, and two baddies from the past. And the episode still bored me a little. I'm really starting to worry that this show has pole vaulted the shark... Law & Order: If Annie Parisse is only 28, I'm the starting centerfielder for the New York Mets... Promos: I actually resisted the car-wreck charms of the absurd plugs for Blind Justice this week, TiVoing right through them. But I was snared once again by a longer "Vampires!" promo for NBC's Third Watch. I guess I'm just a sucker.

Wiggin' Out! with Sydney Bristow: Week Seven

Welcome to the latest edition of Wiggin' Out! with Sydney Bristow... the only place on the 'net for a weekly tally of Jennifer Garner's Alias wigs.

Episode 4 x 08: "Echoes"

Sark and Anna Espinosa return? Check. Syd kicks some ass? Sure. A Rambaldi reference or two? Yep. And a half sister who ends the episode slashed, shot and in a coma? Absolutely.

But how about a wig? A single wig? One measly, ratty looking wig? Nope.

Dammit.

"Echoes" total: 0 wigs!

Season total:
7 wigs


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Job Posting of the Week

Vice President, CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute, Nationwide USA

Get paid $100,000 for one year to watch television!

Job responsibilities include: watch The Dukes of Hazzard weeknight on CMT; know the words to The Dukes of Hazzard theme song, Good Ol' Boys; write The Dukes of Hazzard Institute online blog for cmt.com; serve as expert on all things The Dukes of Hazzard; maybe take The General Lee for a spin now and then.

The job requirements include: Must be 18 or older and have a valid driver's license -- just in case a spin in the famous '69 Dodge Charger, The General Lee, comes up); eligible for work in the United States; travel occasionally at CMT expense.

*The position requires the execution of a one-year, $100,000 Independent Contractor agreement with GREAT!

For a Job Application, please visit CMTDukesInstitute.com

Tonight's Tube

Tonight on CBS, it’s CSI:BBW, as the plotline revolves around fat chicks and the men who… well, kill them. And after last week’s baby-fetish episode, we’re wondering how much further into the gutter this show is going (oh, don’t worry- we’re going with it). On Fox, brace yourself: you’ll get your chance to see Stars Without Makeup. And on ABC, Peter Jennings goes on a hunt for aliens in UFO: Seeing is Believing.

Wednesday Trivia Solved: The Cosby Show

In its second full year, which series did The Cosby Show replace as the #1 show for the season?

A) 60 Minutes
B) Dynasty
C) Dallas
D) The A Team

The answer: B) Dynasty.