Friday, March 04, 2005

Geek Of The Week

Whether he's guilty of wrongdoing or not, this week's nod goes to Charlie Sheen for letting that hott piece of azz wife of his, Denise Richards, file for the big D. Chuckie, baby, she's 6 months pregnant, you have a one year old at home, and yet there are rumors flying that you're whoring it up at parties? Dude, hormones or not, you're not looking too good on this one.

Final Enterprise Poll Results

We asked you, "What show deserves to be cancelled, like, waaaay more than Enterprise?"

You answered:
36%: The View: like nails across a blackboard
27%: Will & Grace: about as funny as a cancer screening
18%: ER: it's been flatlining for years
9% CSI:NY: Kanakaredes this
8%: None of the above: Enterprise is unwatchable

Web Whiparound: Deadwood

It's high noon for the season premiere of Deadwood, and straight-shooting critics have spoken:

They LOVE it.

I couldn't find a single negative review. The show just didn't grab me last year... maybe I should give it another shot.

Related links:
NY Times (Free registration req'd): Deadwood "as absorbing and addictive as The Sopranos."
Chicago Tribune: Deadwood is alive and kicking
Phila. Daily News: Deadwood "as good as television is likely to get"
USA Today: Deadwood Aims High
NY Daily News: There's no Deadwood In This Cast
NY Post: Deadwood Lean Mean and Wicked As Ever

NBC Alumni Get Pilots

On television, everybody gets a second, and sometimes, third, chance.

Seinfeld's Julia Louis-Dreyfus is set to star in CBS' comedy pilot Old Christine, playing an overwhelmed divorced mom. Miami Vice alum Don Johnson, meanwhile, is set to play a lawyer in an untitled pilot for the WB. And Alicia Silverstone, who was clearly a mismatch for her last series Miss Match, gets to play a Queen B for Fox.

Start the pools: who will be cancelled first?

Will Spike Save Enterprise?

There's a new wrinkle in the Star Trek: Enterprise saga.

A spokesperson for Spike TV says the network may be interested in saving UPN's cancelled sci-fi series.

Fans have raised almost $3.1 million so far (although 3 million of that came from three anonymous uber-donors). Still, the cash may have bought them the publicity they need to save their favorite show.

Oprah: Best Dressed, Again

For the second straight year, Oprah Winfrey has made Vanity Fair's Best Dressed List.

She's also expected to top Krispy Kreme's "Most Likely To Drown In Glaze" list when it's revealed next week.

Martha's Out!

Martha Stewart left Camp Cupcake yesterday- and the media went wild!

Now, as she faces house arrest, she can go back to torturing her staff... just like it never happened.

Welcome, home, Martha.


It's time for the premiere of another 99 word recap. This time, it's forensic freakoid Pusher doing the synopsizing. Here's CSI:99.

Ecklie puts Sofia in charge of a Supervisory Inquiry of Grissom. He's concerned Grissom's team screwed up a murder investigation 5 years earlier; which isn't hard to believe since, you know, Warrick's obviously a gambling addict, Sara's a drunk, Catherine accepts checks from murdering fathers and Nick's just a do-gooder. OK, so Catherine's is true.

Our heroes prevail when a fingerprint that failed to reveal until the appeals trial is linked to the defendant's son. Nevertheless, Eckie splits up the team, proving the Kick Ass Brass line of the week, "When it comes to politics, he whips your ass."

Pusher's CSI:99 appears every Friday.

For daily TV Headlines, features, and trivia, tune in to your inner geek at!

Weekend Tube

Friday: Watch out, Numb3rs: The new Law & Order: Trial By Jury settles into its regular slot tonight. On TBS, you can chronicle the continuing fall of the increasingly-less-funny Austin Powers series on TBS with Goldmember. And preparing for the season premiere, catch up with back-to-back-to-back Deadwood repeats on HBO2.

Saturday: Licking her wounds after her new daily syndicated show was shelved last week, Suze Orman keeps on keepin' on with her CNBC special Young, Fabulous and Broke. The hideous looking Ray Romano turd Welcome to Mooseport, which apparently nobody loved, bows on Cinemax. And on Showtime, it's One Night, One Star: Usher Live.

Sunday: On HBO, the season premiere of the expletive-filled Deadwood. Fox burns off a sure to be hilarious hour of the endangered Arrested Development, with Julia Louis-Dreyfuss returning. And on A&E, the latest gutwrenching reality premise: Intervention premieres. Sounds... fun.

The Friday Reverse "Eff Off!": Ellen

This week, Uncle Buster is using his 99 word "Eff Off!" to compliment a show he'd normally never, ever watch. How nice of him.

I do watch some shows, and like a few of them.

Normally, I don’t watch Ellen. But, I happened to tune in recently when she had 10 year old David Dingman-Grover on. He is a Virginia boy who named his brain tumor “Frank” and sold items on the internet with the slogan “Frank Must Die” to raise money for surgery.

He’s now cancer-free, and his favorite band is KISS. The 4 original members (who don’t exactly get along) appeared for David, in complete costume and makeup with a schload of autographed memorabilia.

On any show, that’s pretty damn cool.

99 Word Law Review: Law & Order: Trial By Jury

She's back from the dead, and ready to party. Well, at least, she's ready to analyze the latest Law & Order spinoff from a legal perspective. Dawn Summers, Attorney-At-Law, returns with her 99 Word Law Review.

If Lennie can come back from the dead for the premiere episode of Law & Order:TBJ, I can interrupt my Winter hibernation to write a review. After seeing Dick Wolf’s vision of defense law, it’s no wonder he focuses on the prosecution. Lascher’s attorney knew that he killed and dumped the victim. Therefore, she could not suggest that someone else did it or that the girl was alive. Lawyers can’t knowingly perpetrate a fraud in court. That’s why defense lawyers never want to know if their clients are guilty or not. It’s the original, don’t ask, don’t tell rule.

Thursday Trivia Solved: "Family" shows

Which show aired for the longest?

A) Family Album
B) Family Dog
C) Family Man
D) Valerie's Family (for the span of time between "Valerie" and "The Hogan Family")

Answer: the only one to last longer than 2 months was D) Valerie's Family.