Friday, March 11, 2005

Gag Order Lifted; Leno Can Resume Making Lame Jokes About Jackson

After a week of using a variety of clever alternate delivery systems, Jay Leno is now once again free to dispense his edgeless wit in standard fashion.

Always good getting things back to normal.

Sheiffer's Evening News Ratings Rather Reminiscent of Dan's

It's business as usual for the CBS Evening News.

In his first night on the job, Bob Scheiffer reset the bar for CBS, finishing a distant third to NBC's Brian Williams (#1) and Peter Jennings (#2).

The more things change...

WWE Effed By Spike TV

Spike TV has decided to sever its ties with Vince McMhon and the WWE.

That means Raw, one of cable's most-watched programs, is up for grabs. NBC-Universal's USA Network is said to be interested.

Management thinks the smashmouth WWE's sensibility may be a bad for the newly refined Spike TV, which apparently now prefers higher-brow options like MXC and Carpocalypse.

NBC Gives ER Two More Years To Live

NBC extends ER through 2008.


Pilot Mania

Fresh off her decent performances on Scrubs, Heather Graham is set to star in the ABC comedy pilot Emily's Reasons Why Not.... Irish actor Colm Meaney, who starred in the Geek-In-Chief's beloved Barrytown Trilogy movies, will co-star in Briar & Graves, a pilot for Fox which has already cast the wooden blonde mannequin Elisabeth Rohm... Fluctuating former fattie Lenny Clarke will star in ABC's untitled Mike Caleo project ... Robert Patrick (Terminator 2, The X Files )will play one of the members of a Special Forces unit in CBS' drama The Unit... Gail O'Grady has been cast as the lead in ABC's workplace comedy Hot Properties.

Dan Goes Out In A Blaze Of Glory, With Rare Time Slot Victory

If he knew the ratings would be like this, he might have retired earlier.

Bracco Bummer

Life... imitating art?

Lorraine Bracco, who portrays the shrink treating TV's Tony Soprano for depression, has been fighting depression herself for the last couple of years.

Hey Lorraine- we're bummed too about the long wait between seasons. And you have guest shots on the new Law & Order to get you through. So buck up, little trooper. Have a sfogliatelle and keep that chin up.

Survivor 10 in 99- PLUS! Week 4

Here's this week's 99 word Survivor recap- PLUS what should have happened.

Last week, Kim survived again when Ulong eliminated the injured Jeff. In the reward challenge, the teams had to each build a shower and toilet. The team with the best would get a shelter built by professionals. Despite James' experience with outhouses, Ulong once again lost. Now even angrier, they went into the immunity challenge vowing to fight hard and to win. Mustering everything they had, they came back from a five to two deficit to tie the game and ultimately…lose again. James lamented that he got his "butt whupped" by gay Coby. Kim was finally voted out.

If I had a vote: For the fourth straight week, I would have voted with the losingest Survivor team ever. Kim was lazy and whiny and had to go. I really hope Koror loses one so they can get rid of Caryn; she’s irritating.

My favorite so far: Angie and Stephanie kicked butt yet again, but I have to go with Tom. He’s tough, smart and likable. He beat the much younger and very fit Bobby Jon twice.

Back to

Weekend Tube

Friday: On NBC, Law & Order: Trial By Jury airs its first Orbach-free episode. A&E plays the skating card with Stars on Ice. And of course, the sci-fi geeks can watch the sooo 2004 Enterprise on UPN or the flavor-of-the-month Battlestar Galactica on Sci-Fi.

Saturday: Is it man? Is it mosquito? No! It's Mansquito! And it's on SciFi! If walking, disgusting half-bugs ain't your bag, stock up on Off and check out a new MI-5 on A&E. But don't go to bed without catching the only reality show on TV worth watching: season three of Showtime's filthy, funny Family Business returns.

Sunday: On ABC, two back-to-back chances to sample the new John Stamos comedy Jake In Progress. After two previews, NBC's The Contender finally settles into its regular 8pm time slot. And on A&E, there's gonna be an Intervention.

Thursday Trivia Solved: Cheers, Part Four

What is Rebecca's hometown?

A) San Diego, CA
B) Houston, TX
C) New York, NY
D) Boston, MA

Answer: A) San Diego, CA.

The Friday "Eff Off!" Fear Factor

Here's 99 words on why Uncle Buster refuses to watch people eat monkey balls on a weekly basis.

Fear Factor could have been a therapeutic, inspiring show. Take some people with irrational phobias and attempt to cure them as part of a competitive format.

But who isn’t afraid of this stuff? Take the slimiest bugs and shove them down your throat. Jump from a speeding boat into an alligator’s mouth. This is entertainment?

Make it true to life. Have a married dude come home reeking of booze and perfume at 2 am. Have a woman take care of a spider by herself. Make anyone over age 50 get on the internet.

My kingdom for “actual” reality TV.