Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Jail Time For Broadcast Indecency? Fuckin' A

Rep. F. James Sensenbrenner III, a major Congressional leader, now says he wants to make broadcast indecency a criminal offense.

He'd rather blame the offenders, rather than penalize the networks, who can be sandbagged by live utterances and incidents (ie, Bono's Golden Globes "F" Word and Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction).

Pros: It'd hold the performers responsible. Cons: One more nail in the coffin for free speech.

It's unclear how much support there is for such a plan... Stay tuned.

Idiot Box Poll: New Voice Operated Remote

What's the best thing about a voice operated TV remote control? Vote now in our Idiot Box poll- in the right hand column!

ABC Renews Four

ABC has officially renewed Desperate Housewives, Lost, Alias and Boston Legal.

Complete network lineups for 2005-2006 will be revealed in May.

TBS' New Family Feud

Hate thy neighbor? Want to run them out of town?

Well, TBS has the answer: in their upcoming reality show Loser Leaves Town, two feuding families will face off in a small town turf war.

Chosen families will each receive $100,000- but the loser has to agree to move. In addition, the producers are offering a $50,000 reward for anyone who helps locate two feuding families to participate in the series.

Anyone know the phone number of Star Jones Reynolds' next door neighbor?

Related link:
Loser Leaves Town application

Housewives Turn Into Divas on Vanity Fair Shoot

"You wouldn't believe what it took just to get this photo!"

So claims Vanity Fair magazine, which suffered the wrath of five pissed off Desperate Housewives during an upcoming cover shoot. Infighting abounded, claims the magazine, as the stars brutally cat-fought with each other about wardrobe and their placement in the photo.

Curses were uttered. Tears were shed. And, guaranteed, magazines will sell!

The magazine hits newsstands April 12th.

Nets Set Alarm Early For Pope Funeral

The Big Three broadcast networks will be starting their days earlier than usual to cover the funeral of Pope John Paul II on Friday.

The funeral will begin at 4 am Eastern/1 Pacific from Vatican City. On hand to cover the funeral will be ABC's Charles Gibson, CBS' Harry Smith and John Roberts, and NBC's Brian Williams.

Wife Beater Wearer on TV, Girlfriend Beater In Real Life

Vincent Pastore, better known as Big Pussy on The Sopranos, was ordered by a judge Tuesday to stay away from the girlfriend he was accused of beating last weekend. He allegedly slapped her around in his car for being late for a trip.

The actor (and we use the term loosely) was pleading not guilty to the four misdemeanors with which he is charged, according to his lawyer.

The Week's Top 10 Shows

1. CSI, CBS, 28.2 million
2. American Idol (Tuesday), Fox, 26.4 million
3. American Idol (Wednesday), Fox, 24.9 million
4. Desperate Housewives, ABC, 24.6 million
5. Without a Trace, CBS, 21.3 million
6. Survivor: Palau, CBS, 20.9 million
7. House, Fox, 18.3 million
8. Lost, ABC, 17.8 million
9. Grey's Anatomy, ABC, 17.7 million
10. NCAA Men's Final, N. Carolina v. Michigan St., CBS, 17.5 million

Static From The Geek-In-Chief: Just Askin'

Riddle me this:

With the incessant tabloid coverage of Britney Spears' life, what more could we possibly learn from a reality show? Except maybe how many Ho-Hos she eats in an average day?

Is it possible that Al Gore's new TV channel will be even more painfully boring than he is?

Which is more likely: Bob Schieffer keeps his interim anchor job, Enterprise gets renewed, or Frank Perdue returns from the dead? (I score it a three way tie.)

Will I ever be able to stop comparing the American version of The Office to the (far superior) BBC original?

As a rule, I hate reality shows, but does TV get any better than Project Greenlight?

Now that the public has clearly said "Enough!" will ABC finally divorce themselves from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette?

Screw the voice controlled remote control- when can I just get a chip implanted in my brain?

The wait has been excruciating- does anbody know when Curb Your Enthusiasm is coming back?

Will the amazing show development of FX all off the cliff with Peter Liguori moving upstairs to Fox?

Is anyone still watching Fat Actress? In fact, has anyone ever seen it at all?

Will we get suspicious when that Balki guy, who's shaking up with Jose Canseco, leaves the next season of The Surreal Life leaves the house ripped and musclebound? And will Jose write another tell-all book about it?

With Bobcat Goldthwait directing Jimmy Kimmel Live, how long until that annoying sound effects guy starts calling the shots on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson?

Since we weren't invested in his character nearly as much as Dennis Haysbert's, was it really that big a deal to shoot down the President's plane on 24?

Why have I not watched the brilliant MI-5 until now? And would someone send tapes of this show to J.J. Abrams to remind him how spy shows are supposed to be made?

And while I'm on Alias , now that it's been officially renewed for a fifth season, can they maybe write a storyline that's even slightly compelling?

Can anyone blame Ted Turner for cheating on Jane Fonda? And would anyone have blamed Jane for doing the same to Ted?

Evel Knievel's son gets his own reality show? Who's next, Super Dave Osbourne's third cousin?

What 'ship will our own Pusher root for now that CBS has discharged JAG?

And finally... when Pat O'Brien returns to The Insider, will it be slapped with a TV-MA rating?

For more TV talk, tune in to your inner geek at!

Tonight's Tube

Tonight, of course, ABC's got a new episode of Lost- as if I needed to remind you. Then, over on NBC, cast your ballots: it's convention time on the season finale of The West Wing. Personally, I'll be voting for Alias, even though its approval rating (with me, anyway) is at an all-time low.

Tuesday Trivia Solved: Seinfeld week, day two

Which apartment number did Jerry never have?

A) 411
B) 3A
C) 7B
D) 5A

Answer: C) 7B