Friday, April 08, 2005

Idiot Box Poll: What's Next For Lost?

Now that Lost has killed off a major character, what will be the next shocking plot twist?

Tell us what you think! Vote in our latest Idiot Box poll now- in the right hand column!

Desperate Advertisers Want Your Attention

Everyone's used to 30 second commercials being the television standard. But now, due to changing viewing habits, shortened attention spans, and the proliferation of TiVos and DVRs,marketers are buying commercials in different lengths- as long as two minutes, and as short as 5 seconds (free signup required).

To me, a commerical is a commercial, whatever the length- and I skip past most of them... but I will say this- an :05 Quiznos/Baby Bob commercial would be far easier to take.

Russkies: "Simpsons Not Morally Degenerate"

A Moscow court has rejected a lawsuit from a man claiming The Simpsons had gotten his 6-year-old son interested in drugs and prompted him to call his mother a "toad."

I'm glad to see that people blame the media for bad parenting all over the world, and not just here.

Idiot Box Poll Results: Voice Operated Remote Control

We asked:
What's the coolest function of the new voice operated TV remote contol?

You answered:
Ability to yell "SHUT UP!" at Star Jones and actually have it happen 52%
Keeps both hands free copious for nut-scratching 28%
Instant results from button pushing replaced by far superior delayed results as remote processes your unintelligible blather 14%
Your constant shouting at bad TV shows is finally put to good use 4%

School is in Session At VH-1

VH-1 is making a reality series version of the hit film School of Rock.

The good news? No maddeningly irritating Jack Black. The not-so-good news? Gene Simmons will replace him on the show, where he'll "educate" a few classically trained English music pupils on the ways of rock.

He'll also teach the finer points of spitting fake blood, banging groupies, and selling caskets featuring your band's logo. Sounds like you should get college credit for that one.

Trek Bit Players Still Cashing In

Getting in a single episode of a cult show might just be enough for an actor to live long and prosper.

Delirious, entertainment starved Trekkies, along with fans of other cult shows, will pay bit players up to $20 for an autograph at conventions!

Guess I shouldn't have turned down that cameo as a Tribble.

Grey's Anatomy Could Force Boston Relocation

Boston Legal may be looking for a new time slot soon.

Thanks to the runaway success of its initially temporary replacement, Grey's Anatomy, ABC may be forced to slot Legal elsewhere.

Anatomy, featuring the inexplicably popular Sandra Oh, is holding a much larger chunk of Desperate Housewives' audience than Legal ever did.

Ailes: "No Commie News Channels for Fox"

Where Fox News Channel does plan to launch a financial news channel by the end of the year, CEO Roger Ailes says there's no plans "to start an anti-American (version of Fox News) Channel."

How's THAT for fair and balanced?

Nice Consolation Prize For Rather, Mapes: A Peabody Award

Two prominent CBSers have someting to smile about today.

Axed 60 Minutes II producer Mary Mapes, and deposed anchor Dan Rather won a Peabody award (free registration required) for their story about abuses at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq.

Their award entry forms are still being examined to ensure they weren't forged.

CSI:99 4/7/05

Here's our 99 word recap of last night's CSI.

A trans-gendered showgirl's throat and "vagina" are slashed. Fellow showgirls suggest Doctor "When You Want a Sex Change Done Right" Mercer. But he refused Wendy's request for a fast-tracked surgery. Wendy's friend offers their therapist, Dr. Lavalle, who it's discovered used to be a man and now conducts gender-reassignment surgeries in a storage facility. Talk about fast-tracked. Another body's found on her "operating table" while a videotape of the procedure gone wrong is also uncovered. The tape reveals a fingerprint of Dr. Lavalle's husband. He caught Wendy leaving the botched surgery and killed her to protect his wife's work.

CSI:99 airs on every Friday.

Survivor 10 in 99- Plus! Week Eight

99 word recap: Now a tribe of two, Stephanie and Bobby-Jon struggled to keep up their camp and their spirits. Coby was fed up with the rotting shark carcass, rats and lazy tribe-mates. Koror won reward when Tom was able to eat duck embryos faster than Bobby-Jon. Tom hoped that Stephanie would make it to the merge because of an alliance made with her, Ian and Katy early on. Ulong lost their eighth straight immunity when Bobby-Jon's keen intellect failed him in a puzzle solving challenge. In a challenge to decide who stays, Bobby-Jon lost to Stephanie, now a tribe of one.

If I had a vote: Well, there was no vote this week since there were only two people left in the tribe. But I was rooting for Stephanie to survive.

My favorite so far: Stephanie is still a contender. I'd be psyched if her, Coby, Ian and Tom were the final four.

Survivor 10 in 99airs every Friday. For more TV talk, tune in to your inner geek at!

The Friday "Eff Off!" The Early Show

Up before 9am? Only for the walk of shame.

So I can't give you any good reason to watch The Early Show on CBS, not even the relative hotness of Hannah Storm. Especially when morons like Julie Chen get airtime.

After an eloquent report from Harry Smith on the funeral for the Pope, Chen reminds us to tune in 24 hours later to watch Prince Charles marry his fugly girlfriend.

Julie (aka Mrs. Moonves), since you got your job the same way Camilla will be getting to Buckingham Palace, do the world a favor and SHUT THE F&$#K UP!!!

The Friday Eff Off airs on every Friday. Duh.

Friday Trivia: Seinfeld Week, day five

Which J. Peterman product was not mentioned on the show?

A) Urban Sombrero
B) Pygmy Pullover
C) Classic Horseman's Walking Shoes
D) Detox Poncho

Answer Monday.

Thursday Trivia Solved: Seinfeld week, day four

Kramer won $18,000 on a horse when he got a tip on the subway. What was the horse's name?

A) Santa's Helper
B) Ponce de Leon
C) Murph's Turf
D) Papa Nick

Answer: D) Papa Nick.