Wednesday, April 13, 2005

CSI: NY's Latest Victim: A Boston Fan

The producers of CSI: New York are trying make the show feel a little more at home by making one of its victims a Boston fan. The show is trying to establish a stronger New York identity. Ratings have slipped 33% since the show's boffo premiere in the fall.

Major League Baseball wouldn't let them say "Red Sox," but their intent is pretty clear.

Wonder if this New York team will choke as badly as that other one did last fall?

Lucky Seventh For Sopranos?

Sopranos star Michael Imperioli yesterday said that there might be a seventh season of the show.

Imperioli, who plays Christopher Moltisanti, Tony Soprano's nephew, said that show creator David Chase had not officially told him that the sixth season would be the last, leaving the possibility open for a seventh. However, Chase has previously stated that this would be the final season.

Imperioli, begins a four-episode run on "Law & Order" on April 27.

Pee-Wee 911

Paul Reubens, aka Pee-Wee Herman, is joining Comedy Central's hi-larious Reno 911! for its third season, playing a Guardian Angel.

The new season debuts in June.

Message Boarders Despise Bachelor Charlie

Charlie O'Connell, the seventh Bachelor on ABC's fading reality show, doesn't have many fans on the network's message boards. They complain that the show has reached a new low, and are labelling him an "idiot," "creep," "boob," "cad," "boozer," "player" and "dog."

Of course, they're still watching.

Static From The Geek-In-Chief: Idol Chatter

So this week, I did the unthinkable: I actually watched a full hour of American Idol. I won't go into why, but let's just say it wasn't by choice. And I figured as a "journalist" (ha!) I could use it for fodder for my weekly column.

It's not like I hadn't seen drips and drabs of Idol before, but to fully appreciate the sheer hideousness of America's favorite TV trainwreck, it turns out it's necessary to ingest the full hour. And here are my notes- which I'm sure won't surprise anyone.

The singers are generally safe, generic, and bland. Of course, they're only slightly worse than any of the crap I hear on the radio anyway. Most are straight out of central casting: there's the fat guy, the blonde country girl, the hip black chick, the grungy dude. None are particularly good.

For example, the aforementioned fat dude sang (well, OK- butchered) the Hall & Oates classic "She's Gone." To make a point (although it still isn't clear what it was), the producers thawed out Daryl and John, wheeled them into the audience, and kept them handy to comment on the undertalented cretin's performance of their song. Of course, nobody bothered to mike the decrepit duo, so nobody could hear their responses- making the whole exercise pointlessly retarded (as if the under-25 crowd watching the show even knew who Hall & Oates were in the first place).

Others chose songs that had me scratching my head: what kind of masochistic fool would try to match Freddy Mercury's performance of "Bohemian Rhapsody?" Why would anyone resurrect Paul Young's unlistenable "Every Time You Go Away"- in any form? And why would anyone disrespect the immortal Johnny by doing a watered down "Freebird?"

And lastly, the judges: say what you want about Simon, but he's at least honest. Randy seemed inconsistent to this first-time viewer, although each time I saw him I couldn't get the image of him playing Journey's "I'll Be Alright Without You" on his pink polka-dot bass out of my quickly shrivelling brain. And Paula's straight up annoying: too cheery, too jumpy, and very slurry: her speech pattern (and musical taste, for that matter) suggested that she was either loaded or in the midst of a massive stroke.

Overall, it's not the worst show I've ever seen, but I won't ever watch it again- at least, not by choice.

That is, unless Carrie makes the final two. Scha-WING!

Static from the Geek In Chief airs every Wednesday on For more cool TV talk, click here.

Tonight's Tube

Tonight, NBC goes Gibson, taking a leap of faith with its "limited series" premiere of Revelations. On Fox, We all know Pam Anderson is Stacked- but can her subpar acting skills keep a sitcom afloat? Or will she have to rely on her fake funbags as life preservers? And on Law & Order, Detective Green takes a bullet- and it remains to be seen if it'll do more damage than his role in the big screen version of the atrociously overrated Rent.

Tuesday Trivia Solved: The Simpsons week, day 2

Which was never mentioned as The Simpsons' home address?

A) 94 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield, USA
B) 430 Spalding Way, Springfield, USA
C) 1094 Evergreen Terrace
D) 742 Main Street, Springfield

Answer: D) 742 Main Street, Springfield