Thursday, April 21, 2005

Falling Star

Her contract to host red carpet coverage is up and the network is in no hurry to pick up her option. Especially after her annoying "me first" displays.

We're keeping our fingers crossed on this one. It's sure to send our exclusive Star Jones Terror Warning System off the charts, so get your asbestos suits ready.

Producers Take It In the Ass from NBC; Renew Will & Grace on the Cheap

After months of negotiations, NBC and the producers of Will & Grace are close to an agreement to bring the Emmy-winning sitcom back for another season.

However, sources said NBC will reduce the license fee for the fading series, which is currently around $5 million per episode. Up next: negotiating new contracts for the series' stars, likely at a reduced salary.

Good luck with that.

Abdul: "I'm Not Addicted"

If you're like me, you definitely think spacey, slurry American Idol judge Paula Abdul's is on something. Not so, she says.

Apparently last November, the Idol judge was diagnosed with Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, a chronic neurological disorder that causes severe pain. Despite her disorder and 12 accompanying operations, Abdul swears she's "not addicted to pills of any kind."

Man, she just got even less interesting.

Fox to Paris: "Not so fast!"

Paris Hilton may have told her buddy Nicole Richie to eff off, but Fox isn't ready to celebrate their bust-up just yet.

Responding to the dirty debutante's intention to replace Richie with Kimberly Stewart on their hugely popular reality trainwreck, Fox says: "We are currently discussing internally the creative direction of the next The Simple Life. We are huge fans of both Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie and look forward to solidifying our plans for the next installment."

This fight sounds more interesting to me than the actual show. Somebody get a camera on these bitches!

Officer Should've Spanked Webster

A police officer will be reprimanded for not giving a speeding ticket to former child star Emmanuel Lewis after he was clocked blowing through Warwick, GA doing 70 mph in a 45 mph zone. To make matters worse, he was towing a trailer loaded with a sport utility vehicle.

Lewis, who starred in the '80s TV series Webster, was let off with a verbal warning. To seal the deal, he gave his autograph and posed for a photo with the officer and the town's police chief.

The Warwick City Council concluded Tuesday that Kirk's actions were improper, ordering that Kirk receive a written reprimand and that the police chief review his department's policies on giving verbal warnings.

The real surpise in all this: that Lewis could reach the pedals. (hey- I'm 5' 3", so I can make that joke.)

Will She Wear A Pink Wig Down The Aisle?

There's a nausea-inducing rumor floating around that J-Gar and B-Fleck are engaged.

Will Jen bring the Rambaldi device on her honeymoon? You know, to keep the romance alive?

Wiggin' Out! with Sydney Bristow: Week Fifteen

Welcome to Wiggin' Out! with Sydney Bristow... our exclusive weekly tally of t Jennifer Garner's Alias wigs.

Episode 4 x 16: "Another Mister Sloane"

As I attempt to come to grips with another wigless week, I'm noticing a sad truth to this mediocre fourth season of Alias: as the quality of this season's episodes increases (this week's was pretty good, for a change), the frequency of wigs decreases.

Of course, recent episodes have been extremely light on the J-Gar, thanks to her achin' back, so I'll cut them a little slack. But in the last six, I demand some serious multi-colored fake hair wearin'.

"Another Mister Sloane" total: 0 wigs

Season total:
12 wigs

Sportztyme!: NFL Cashes In

Constant relevance requires constant reinvention and re-evaluation.

Two big reasons the NFL is, and will continue to be the number one spectator sport in this country.

This past week, the league announced new television deals that will take effect for the 2006 season. CBS and Fox will continue their Sunday afternoon matinees, but the channel changing will begin on Sunday nights.

NBC takes over the franchise started by ESPN a few years back. It was a way for the NFL to own the entire day and night each week, and the teams love it. Another chance to be the only game on at that hour. More exposure, more excitement, and a sense of achievement, because they don't give that spot to scrub teams.

It's a recognition that was born on Monday night's some 35 years ago. ABC brought the NFL to prime time, and it quickly became one of TV's most watched programs. But it's relevance and interest has waned in recent years. When it began, there were very few ways you could watch live football. Now, in the days of satellite TV and cable on demand, most every fan can watch most every play of their favorite team most every week. Monday Night Football isn't the novelty it was in the 1970's... and the numbers prove it.

So, to stoke two fires, and introduce another network into their bountiful bidding process....the NFL switched Sunday nights to NBC (with a price tag of $600 million) and moved Monday nights within the Disney family to ESPN (at a more stately $1.1 billion). It's a perfect move by commissioner Paul Tagliabue. Since weeknights are more geared towards demographics anyway, Monday Night Football is a perfect fit for the M 18-34 audience that is addicted to ESPN already. And the Peacock network was only too happy to jump back into sports television relevance... the kind of feeling they only seem to get every other year when the Olympics bring events into our home we spend four years ignoring otherwise.

Just another reason why the NFL continues to be the best sport, and the best sports business in this country.

Uncle Buster writes Sportztyme every Thursday, for far less than the 1.1 billion the NFL gets annually from ESPN.

Wednesday Trivia Solved: The Sopranos week, day 3

Where did Tony and Christopher bury Ralph's head?

A) Mike Palmice's father's place
B) Pine Barrens
C) Hesh's horse farm
D) Point Pleasant beach

Answer: A) Mike Palmice's father's place