Friday, April 29, 2005

Katie, Producers Look to Get Leg Up on Bad Press

The New York Post's Page Six is reporting that, perhaps, Today show staffers aren't exactly ignoring the bad press that has befallen them lately.

After the New York Times ridiculed hissy-fittin' Couric in a scathing article, noting how Today's cameras to "linger" on her toned legs, it seems Couric has been obscuring them with pant-suits and plants.

An NBC spokesperson said: "While I haven't had the time to research pant-to-skirt ratio in the past, I assure you that these allegations regarding Katie's legs are completely absurd. This is completely false."

We'll keep an eye on this important breaking story and report back. Meanwhile, take our Idiot Box poll (in the right hand column) and tell us how you think Katie can fix her image.

The Dream Is Over

It's official: NBC's American Dreams will not return next season.

Meanwhile, ABC has renewed two milquetoast entries: According to Jim and America's Funniest Home Videos.

Judy Woodruff Leaving CNN

Judy Woodruff, the anchor of CNN's Inside Politics, is leaving the network when her contract expires in June. She plans to use her new-found free time to teach, write and work on long-form documentaries.

CNN offered Woodruff, 58, a new contract, but she had decided to leave before those discussions began.

Woodruff says she hoped to teach, write and work on long-form documentaries.

Censorship Police get NBC To Cave on Content Ratings

NBC has decided to reverse its policy about content ratings for its TV shows. The network will now add descriptors- V for violence, S for sexual content, L for vulgar language, D for suggestive dialogue and FV for fantasy violence- to help the V-chip do its job.

The ratings system was developed in 1997, but NBC refused to run the descriptors because of First Amendment concerns and the fear that the onscreen clutter would confuse viewers.

Also because they just like cursing on camera a lot.

Weekend Tube

Friday: Will the 'shippers get their wish on the series finale of JAG? (Actually, does anyone besides Pusher still watch it?) Also, Dean Cain, fresh off the cancellation of Clubhouse, cozies up to Kelly Ripa on Hope & Faith. Saturday: Cynthia Nixon is back on HBO, but there's no sex- or city- in Warm Springs. Sunday: On Fox: Family Guy is back! Awww yeah!

The Cure To America's Ills... In Just 7 Short Days!

So it's TV Turnoff week. Once again, yet another group of forward thinking Washington, D.C.-types blame the corruption of American Family Values on ye olde boobe tube.

OK, fine, let's say they're right. So Mom and Dad shut the TV off. Oh boy, that's really going to help develop little Johnny Jr. into Harvard Material in this day and age. Meanwhile, Johnny Jr. just logged onto from his bedroom (and the library too) and is busy downloading Paris Hilton video clips like mad.

Perhaps Mom and Dad should also do some research on a little program called BitTorrent... you know, that must be how little Johnny Jr. is able to watch all those F'in Deadwood episodes NOT on their boob tube that week... even though they don't allow HBO in the house.

But how dare we even suggest that Mom and Dad should keep Johnny Jr. off of that portable, wireless laptop he got for Christmas - the one he takes to the library with him and loads up with CD's and DVD's - the device that keeps hundreds of educational online books readily available (for those days he feels like reading A Christmas Carol by Dickens on those long drives... instead of playing the most recent Kazaa-downloaded copy of Doom 3).

Yes, here in censored America, where values are instilled by force instead of taught by attentive and nurturing stable influences, TV Turnoff week is sure to cure the ills of society... and in 7 short days too.

JoeVideo is a regular contributer to

CSI:99 4/28/05

Here's our 99 word recap of this week's CSI:.

It's raining. In Vegas. Again. What better situation for a prison psychiatric ward murder? Brass, Grissom and Sara - the investigators du jour - have self-mutilation, sodomy, murder and incest on the menu. Semen on the victim's sheets matches another inmate in for rapes committed after years of sexual abuse by his mother. He admits to the murder only to cover up for Nurse McKay. An audio recording cut into a clay pot (honestly!) reveals McKay to be the mother who molested him. Jealous of her son's relationship with the inmate, she put the victim into seclusion where she smothered him.

Pusher gets her epithelials all over her keyboard every Friday while writing CSI:99.

Aching News: Idol Exposure

From the Desk of MC Hatorade, at United Hate Press International:

So, from where I sit, the TV News "story of the week" is not the Michael Jackson trial, or the fact that President Bush grew the balls to hold a primetime news conference. It is actually a story that has yet to air- ABC News' planned expose on "American Idol," slated to run on May 4th.

Let me start by saying that the anchor behind the story, ABC mainstay John Quinones, is someone I have always held in high esteem, and I have been watching him for years. So, when Rupert Murdoch allegedly claimed that ABC's report is being done merely to maliciously "destroy" the nation's most-watched series, I have a difficult time believing him- Murdoch that is.

The fact is Idol, like it or not, is a major cultural phenomenon, and ABC News has the right to do a piece on it just like anything else. If along the way they find out that not everything that happens behind the scenes of the hit show is so rosy, then it is fair for them to make the public aware of it.

Murdoch must know something about the story they are putting together, and a thing or two about some "dirt" on those who make and star in American Idol, or he wouldn't use such tough language as a pre-emptive strike. Newscorp's flagships like Fox and the New York Post have always been trash-talking organizations, so I guess it makes sense that this real king of all media would poo-poo another network's work so childishly. I mean, even if it is the most damning story of all time, people are still going to watch Idol. It'll probably end up helping the ratings.

Look, why don't we wait and see what ABC is going to do before we start accusing anyone of anything. The only thing we know about American Idol for sure is that not all of the finalists would have made it to the finals of my High School talent show.

Until next week, pour yourself a tall glass of hate, shut up, and get in the car.

MC Hatorade's Aching News crosses the wires every Friday.

The Friday "Eff Off!" ER

Remember when ER was a decent show?

Remember when it had compelling characters, lively medical action scenes, and engrossing story lines?

Remember when Dr. Carter was a young, impressionable intern, instead of the jaded, bitter, ungrateful jackass he's become?

Remember when one of the most interesting characters was the one who insulted everyone, but you couldn't take your eyes off him when he was on screen? Yeah, killing him off was a good idea.

Remember when Eriq LaSalle's character would come on and you started reciting lines from Coming To America?

Yeah, I don't remember either. So long ago.

Uncle Buster writes The Friday Eff Off every Friday, under heavy sedation.

Friday Trivia: The Jeffersons week, day 5

What was the name of the business tycoon that George was always trying to impress?

A) Mr. Whittendale
B) Mr. Warner
C) Mr. Walters
D) Mr. Wendall

Answer tomorrow.

Thursday Trivia Solved: The Jeffersons week, day 4

What is George's secretary's name?

A) Linda
B) Faith
C) Mary
D) Nora

Answer: A) Linda.