Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Today's Tubeservation

For those who scoff that 24 is unrealistic, here's some fuel to add to the fire:

So, like, if the show's plot was, like, really happening, the return of Palmer would be exactly equivalent to the following scenario:

● Kerry-Edwards wins the presidency
● Kerry goes down in a plane crash
● Acting President Edwards calls in W to run the operation because he was in charge during 9/11.

How's that for unlikely? Guess there's no partisan politics on Fox. Then again...

Don't Take Me To TV Land

During the final episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, cable net TV Land will pay tribute by simply showing a room filled with 210 guys named Raymond.

Is there more, you ask? Yep: Each Ray will wear a T-shirt with the title of one of the show's episodes, and get to introduce themselves and the episode title they have on.

Sounds awful, but I'd rather watch this than an episode of Listen Up.

Martha on Best Behavior In Pitch to Advertisers

Martha Stewart showed some leg - but not her ankle bracelet- to ad execs yesterday while pitching her new syndicated talker Martha.

The show promises to show the softer, funnier side of Martha's personality.

Martha will be broadcast live before a studio audience, and feature her domestic advice, surprise celebrity appearances, and, we presume, hot stock tips.

ABC News Claims Victory; Whiny NBC Claims Asterisk

ABC World News Tonight is crowing that it won the evening news race last week, with its Vargas-Gibson combo narrowly beating the Peacock's TanMan, Brian Williams. In true NBC fashion (remember Zucker's "Sweeps are obsolete!" mantra?) they're calling bullshit, claiming clearances were screwed up by the president's press conference.

Is it a trend? or a fluke? Next week will tell the tale!

Must Miss TV

In a pathetic attempt to extend their collective 15 minutes of quasi-fame, ten rejected American idol contestii are appearing on Family Feud, the syndicated game show.

The roster of warbling Feudians including last season's runner-up, Diana DeGarmo, Julia DeMato, Amy Adams, Vanessa Olivarez, Kimberley Locke, Ricky Smith, A.J. Gil, Jon Peter Lewis, George Huff and Matt Rogers.

I'm going to assume those names mean something to you- and move on.

Found Without a Trace

CBS has rescheduled the episode of Without a Trace displaced by Thursday's Presidential news conference.

It will now air this Wednesday night at 10pm ET.

So there, punks.

Asian Actors Still Underrepresented

A new study of Asian Americans in prime-time television, shows that Asians, who make up 5 percent of the U.S. population, play only 2.7 percent of regular characters.

The study, conducted by sociologists at the University of California, also showed virtually no Asian actors are on sitcoms (with the sad state of TV comedies, any ethnic gorup could consider this a positive development), and the characters they play in dramas tend to have less depth, less on-screen time and less hot-n-heavy bumping-of-uglies.

24 in 99: 2:00am-3:00am

Here's this week's 99 word recap of 24.

David Palmer takes control of saving the country from snivelling President Logan. Chloe hacks a hard drive that reveals Chinese consulate involvement in the terror plot, revealing that Lee Jong's an associate of Marwan. Audrey arranges for Paul to be moved to a hospital. Marwan's damaged videotaped message is recovered... multiple attacks planned? Palmer authorizes Bauer to attack the Chinese Embassy to recover Jong, who's gravely injured in the raid and taken to CTU's "convenient ER" where Paul Raines suddenly can't breathe. There's one doctor for them both! Bauer makes the choice! And Paul Dies- freaking Audrey out!

24 in 99 counts down every Tuesday on

Tonight's Tube

Tonight, a sweeps two-part, two-show carryover episode, where the Laws and Order SVU and TBJ hook up and bring Angela Lansbury and Alfred Molina along for the ride. On PBS, another (repeat) episode of the great Manor House offers a change of pace. And on Discovery, see why the Deadliest Catch doesn't always involve an intimate encounter with Paris Hilton. Ba dum DUM!

Monday Trivia Solved: Lost week, day 1

What airline operated the plane flying the ill-fated voyage?

A) Pacific Airways
B) Oceanic
C) Acme
D) J.J. Air

Answer: B) Oceanic