Thursday, May 05, 2005

Sportztyme! Anchors Away!

Can someone, ANYONE please get me an ESPN substitute?

Just some competition, so it's not the only source I have for most national sports information.

The problem with ESPN is the same problem towns with only one newspaper have. Lack of a choice for consumers leads to laziness and a sense of entitlement for the information providers. They know they are the only place you can get what you want, so it doesn't matter how they bring it to you.

Don't get me wrong, ESPN still does a lot of things better than anyone else ever thought of doing them. Baseball Tonight and, for the most part, SportsCenter are prime examples. But too many people in Bristol have become caricatures of themselves and have totally lost significance.

Chris Berman tops the list. I've met Berman, and used to be a huge fan of his. He's an incredibly nice guy in person, and I've never really heard too many bad things said about him, until now. Berman used to be hilarious with his infamous and inventive nicknames. Now, it's like he HAS to do that tired old schtick, because he thinks that's all anyone wants to see of him. His now overbearing style envelopes whatever he's trying to tell us, and I end up tuning him out.

Stuart Scott is another one I can do without. I know this is going to sound like a racial dig to some, but I don't need him reading off all the names of the kids in his extended family for a laugh. You've heard it, the "pookie, ray-ray, la-krieshia...etc" blah blah's not funny. "Boo-yah" was ok, but all the other references go over most viewer's heads. I know ESPN wants to relate to all audiences, but he's just coming off as ignorant and too damn ethnic!! What if Linda Cohn and Steve Levy started doing highlites in Yiddish??? What if John Anderson walked in with a Viking's horn and blew it for every home run? Enough already!!!

Folks, it's not stand up night at the Improv. One or two witty comments can be funny, if properly placed. If I want laughs, I'll watch Letterman or Insomniac. Just tell me how my fantasy baseball team is doing, and how the Yankees managed to find another way to lose.

Chappelle's No

What's the real story behind the constant delays of Comedy Central's biggest hit, bitch?

The network has announced it's immediately suspending production on the third season of Chappelle's Show until further notice. No explanation was given, but rumors of tension between the comedian and the network have been circulating for months.

The third season of the show was scheduled to premiere on May 31, with significant marketing support (in New York, entire subway cars are covered in Chappelle ads).

Chappelle recently signed a 2 year, contract with Comedy Central rumored to be in the $50 million range.

Accusatory Idol's No Help to Fox

Corey Clark, the 2003 former American Idol contestant who claims he nailed judge Paula Abdul, said Thursday he won't help Fox investigate his charges.

Fox issued a statement Thursday saying it had contacted Clark for his help investigating the claims but "that has yet to happen."

Sure makes his story more believeable, doesn't it?

Get Lost! The Greater Good 5/4/05

Goodnight Boone, and Hello (Again) Locke! While Jack takes a much-needed drug-induced nap, Shannon asks Sayid to, as we say in New York, "Take Care of Somethin'" for her. Locke seems to be going borderline crazy (why won't he tell everyone about the hatch?) and suddenly his legs work again.

We learn a bit more about Sayid and how he came to be on Oceanic Flight 815 (dumbass, take the earlier flight next time). Since Sayid can't put Locke in the fetal position underground, Shannon decides to take matters into her own hands. Whoops, aim left next time. It was nice to get some answers for once (Locke was the one who knocked Sayid out way back when they were triangulating the radio signal) instead of a myriad of questions.

We are starting to see some schisms (finally) in the survivors- notably, Jack's Group (Sayid, Kate, Jack, Charlie) vs. Locke seems to be shaping up as a big blowup as we head toward the finale. Even Sawyer, once reviled as the criminal of the island, is turning into comedic fodder, reading Motor Trend magazine to Claire's Unnamed Baby. Will the raft set sail? Who else will die?

I can't wait for the final episodes. Then what to do this summer? Will the Season One DVD (Coming September 6th) have more juicy content on it? So many questions, so few answers. Such is life as a fan of Lost.

Wiggin' Out! with Sydney Bristow: Week Seventeen

Welcome to Wiggin' Out! with Sydney Bristow... our exclusive weekly wig count of Alias' lovely and talented Jennifer Garner.

Episode 4 x 18: "Mirage"

The drought is over! The ep starts off with our girl, J-Gar, in an old-school red wig, with hints of brown rootage. Very nice!

Too bad the rest of the episode was a snoozefest.

"Mirage" total: 1 wig!

Season total:
13 wigs

Wednesday Trivia Solved: Lost week, day 3

Which is not a last name of a passenger on the flight?

A) Ryan
B) Shepard
C) Carlisle
D) Kwan-Sun

Answer: D) Kwan-Sun