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Wednesday, May 18, 2005

CBS Eyes Even More 18-49s For Fall

New Shows: Ghost Whisperer, Threshold, Criminal Minds, Close to Home, How I Met Your Mother, Out of Practice

Key Renewals: Two and a Half Men, CSI:NY, Yes Dear, NUMB3RS, Cold Case, The Amazing Race

Key Cancellations: Judging Amy, Joan of Arcadia, 60 Minutes Wednesday, Listen Up, JAG

Mysterious Doings: Another year for Yes, Dear? Still Standing is, well, still standing? Who watches these shows?

Analysis: Will anyone watch the annoying Jennifer Love Hewitt in a weekly drama that's essentially a Medium ripoff (especially one where she doesn't play a mute)? Or a show called How I Met Your Mother, even if it does star cutie-pie Buffy alumnus Alyson Hannigan and Neil Patrick "Don't Call Me Doogie" Harris?

CBS is shoring up its Monday night comedy block, moving out the dead weight (sorry, Jason Alexander) and putting King of Queens and Two and a Half Men as tentpoles at 8 and 9. It remains to be seen how many watch Men because they like it, or because they're too lazy to change the channel.

Still, adding a couple of younger skewing sci-fi shows won't hurt. Even without Raymond, CBS is still the network to beat next year.


MONDAY
8:00-8:30 PM THE KING OF QUEENS (NT)
8:30-9:00 PM HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER (N)
9:00-9:30 PM TWO AND A HALF MEN (NT)
9:30-10:00 PM OUT OF PRACTICE (N)
10:00-11:00 PM CSI: MIAMI

TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM NCIS
9:00-10:00 PM THE AMAZING RACE
10:00-11:00 PM CLOSE TO HOME (N)

WEDNESDAY
8:00-8:30 PM STILL STANDING (NT)
8:30-9:00 PM YES, DEAR (NT)
9:00-10:00 PM CRIMINAL MINDS (N)
10:00-11:00 PM CSI: NY

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 PM SURVIVOR: GUATEMALA
9:00-10:00 PM CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION
10:00-11:00 PM WITHOUT A TRACE

FRIDAY
8:00-9:00 PM GHOST WHISPERER (N)
9:00-10:00 PM THRESHOLD (N)
10:00-11:00 PM NUMB3RS

SATURDAY
8:00-9:00 PM CRIMETIME SATURDAY
9:00-10:00 PM CRIMETIME SATURDAY
10:00-11:00 PM 48 HOURS MYSTERY

SUNDAY
7:00-8:00 PM 60 MINUTES
8:00-9:00 PM COLD CASE
9:00-11:00 PM CBS SUNDAY MOVIE

Upfront Odds: The CBS New Offerings

Show: Ghost Whisperer, Fridays at 8:00
Description: Jennifer Love Hewitt, in full Patricia Arquette mode, utilizes her ability to talk to dead people who seek her help.
Analysis: The Friday timeslot shows CBS execs don’t exactly Love this one. Aisha Tyler finally becomes a regular on a series- and has to co-star with the completely annoying JLH. Bummer for her.
Odds of lasting a full season: 3-1
Over/under for number of episodes: 13

Show: Threshold, Fridays at 9:00
Description: Charles S. Dutton leads a team of experts investigating the landing of an alien spacecraft.
Analysis: Again, will sci-fi geeks find this show, on CBS, on Friday nights? Maybe the former Enterprisers will- they sure won’t be watching Dateline or Hope and Faith.
Odds of lasting a full season: 2-1
Over/under for number of episodes: 17

Show: Criminal Minds, Wednesday at 9:00
Description: Mandy Patinkin heads this suspense thriller about an elite squad of FBI profilers who analyze the country's most twisted criminal minds.
Analysis: Do the math: Patinkin + up against Lost and, eventually, American Idol = certain doom.
Odds of lasting a full season: 4-1
Over/under for number of episodes: 13

Show: Close to Home, Tuesday at 10:00
Description: Jerry Bruckheimer’s latest procedural tells the heartwrenching story of a working mother taking on crime in her suburban town.
Analysis: Tough road to hoe against established dramas Law & Order SVU and Boston Legal, but never count out Bruckheimer.
Odds of lasting a full season: 3-1
Over/under for number of episodes: 13

Show: How I Met Your Mother , Monday at 8:30
Description: A comedy about a guy named Ted and how he fell in love.
Analysis: Reading the press release, I can’t tell if this is a complicated, high concept comedy- or just a confusing mess. Star power could help (Alyson Hannigan, Neil Patrick Harris, Bob Saget as narrator).
Odds of lasting a full season: 2-1
Over/under for number of episodes: 17.5

Show: Out of Practice, Monday at 9:30
Description: A comedy about a family of physicians who have little in common.
Analysis: More star power (Stockard Channing and Henry Winkler) and the creative team of the once-great Frasier give this one a real shot, provided Two and a Half Men delivers.
Odds of lasting a full season: even money
Over/under for number of episodes: 22

Quentin Digs CSI

Quentin Tarantino, director of gory hits Pulp Fiction and Resevoir Dogs, says he's seen every episode of CSI. So it's no wonder Tarantino’s directing the season finale. And I'll bet it's gonna be gory!

The two-hour episode, "Grave Danger,” will be subtitled Vol. 1 and Vol. 2 in homage to Kill Bill, which was also released in two parts.

Ain't that cute?

Toxic Ratings for Britney and Kevin

Britney Spears' sex-drenched reality show debuted last night- and America officially said "Who cares?"

Britney and Kevin: Chaotic attracted just 3.4 million viewers, finishing dead last in its time slot.

UPN's gotta be disappointed. And we will be too- if this crap lasts more than another week or two.

Rather Loses Another

CBS has cancelled 60 Minutes Wednesday months after the show aired a flawed report on President Bush's military service. But CBS King Shit of Fuck Mountain Leslie Moonves said it was about low ratings, not the retracted "Memogate" report.

The show's ratings had slipped 14% from a year ago, and had older demographics than any other show on the network.

But don't worry about good ol' Dan- the correspondent, who was squarely at the center of the shitstorm, will be offered a position on the Sunday edition of the show.

Chappelle Set For Release

Relax, Chappelle fans- the complete second season of Chappelle's Show is still being released on DVD on May 24.

Originally, this was just a week before the now postponed Season 3 was supposed to debut on TV.

The season one DVD set of Chappelle's is still the best selling TV related DVD ever, selling 2.8 million copies since its February 2004 release.