TVGeekSpeak.com



Thursday, May 19, 2005

Upfront Odds: The UPN New Offerings

Show: Everybody Hates Chris, Thursdays at 8:00
Description: Chris Rock narrates this biographical sitcom about of a teenager growing up as the eldest of three children in Brooklyn, New York during the early 1980's.
Analysis: Tough time slot, but it does have two things going for it: Chris Rock (even if he's only the narrator) and the fact that lowly UPN has no choice but to give it a chance.
Odds of lasting a full season: Even money
Over/under for number of episodes: 22

Show: Love, Inc, Thursdays at 9:30
Description: A matchmaker and her quirky co-workers help lovelorn single men and women catch the perfect mate.
Analysis: Two words: Shannen Doherty. (shudder)
Odds of lasting a full season: 2-1
Over/under for number of episodes: 17

Show: Sex, Lies and Secrets, Tuesday at 9:00
Description: Drama exploring relationships between a tight-knit group of friends trying to find their place in life.
Analysis: Sounds like the chicks may dig this one. Denise "Don't Call Me Mrs. Sheen" Richards stars.
Odds of lasting a full season: 3-1
Over/under for number of episodes: 17.5

Fox Staggers Into Fall

New Shows: Prison Break, Bones, Head Cases, Reunion, The Gate, Kitchen Confidential, The War At Home, The Loop

Key Renewals: American Dad, American Idol, America's Most Wanted, Arrested Development, The Bernie Mac Show, Cops, Family Guy, House, King Of The Hill, Malcolm In The Middle, The O.C., The Simpsons, Stacked, That '70s Show

Key Cancellations: Life on a Stick, Point Pleasant, Quintuplets

Mysterious Doings: That '70s Show has aged like a pair of stained bell bottoms, and now that Topher Grace and Ashton Kutcher are leaving, what's the point of doing another season? And isn't Malcolm, like, 30?

Analysis: Fox is staggering its schedule again, which didn't work as well as planned last year. One slate of shows will launch in September, and another in January.

Moving Arrested Development off Sunday nights can't be a bad thing, but where does it go in January when quasi-hit House bumps it off the schedule?

On the drama front, Reunion is an interesting concept saddled with a killer time slot, and the promos for Prison Break look great (although we've learned to never trust promos).

MONDAY
8:00-8:30 PM ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
8:30-9:00 PM KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL
9:00-10:00 PM PRISON BREAK

TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM BONES
9:00-10:00 PM HOUSE

WEDNESDAY
8:00-8:30 PM THAT '70s SHOW
8:30-9:00 PM STACKED
9:00-10:00 PM HEAD CASES

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 PM THE O.C.
9:00-10:00 PM REUNION

FRIDAY
8:00-8:30 PM THE BERNIE MAC SHOW
8:30-9:00 PM MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE
9:00-10:00 THE GATE (working title)

SATURDAY
8:00-8:30 PM COPS
8:30-9:00 PM COPS
9:00-10:00 PM AMERICA'S MOST WANTED
11:00 PM-MIDNIGHT MADtv

SUNDAY
7:00-7:30 PM Animated Encores
7:30-8:00 PM KING OF THE HILL
8:00-8:30 PM THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 PM THE WAR AT HOME
9:00-9:30 PM FAMILY GUY
9:30-10:00 PM AMERICAN DAD

FOX PRIMETIME SCHEDULE: BEGINNING JANUARY 2006
(All Times ET/PT)

MONDAY
8:00-9:00 PM HOUSE
9:00-10:00 PM 24

TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM AMERICAN IDOL
9:00-10:00 PM BONES

WEDNESDAY
8:00-8:30 PM THAT '70s SHOW
8:30-9:00 PM STACKED
9:00-9:30 PM AMERICAN IDOL
9:30-10:00 PM THE LOOP

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 PM THE O.C.
9:00-10:00 PM REUNION

FRIDAY
8:00-8:30 PM THE BERNIE MAC SHOW
8:30-9:00 PM MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE
9:00-10:00 THE GATE (working title)

SATURDAY
8:00-8:30 PM COPS
8:30-9:00 PM COPS
9:00-10:00 PM AMERICA'S MOST WANTED
11:00 PM-MIDNIGHT MADtv

SUNDAY
7:00-7:30 PM Animated Encores
7:30-8:00 PM KING OF THE HILL
8:00-8:30 PM THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 PM THE WAR AT HOME
9:00-9:30 PM FAMILY GUY
9:30-10:00 PM AMERICAN DAD

UPN's Fall Has Something For Everyone

New Shows: Everybody Hates Chris, Love Inc., and Sex, Lies and Secrets

Key Renewals: America’s Next Top Model, Veronica Mars, Girlfriends, Eve, One On One, Cuts, All Of Us, Half & Half, WWE Smackdown!

Key Cancellations: Kevin Hill

Mysterious Doings: Shannen Dougherty returns to (we're being generous here) "network" TV. But why? On tap for midseason, South Beach, a drama produced by J-Lo.

Analysis: Thursday is shaping up to be a brutally competitive night, with the Chris Rock quasi-vehicle Everybody Hates Chris Slotting in against Survivor, Joey, and Alias.

Veronica Mars, a show I was looking forward to finally watching in year two, will likely get creamed again in its new timeslot opposite Lost. Which I'm not going to miss, even if Kristen Bell is a hottie.

On tap for midseason: South Beach, a drama produced by J-Lo. Remind me to skip that one.

MONDAY
8:00-8:30 PM ONE ON ONE
8:30-9:00 PM ALL OF US
9:00-9:30 PM GIRLFRIENDS
9:30-10:00 PM HALF & HALF

TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL (R)
9:00-10:00 PM SEX, LIES & SECRETS (New Series)

WEDNESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL
9:00-10:00 PM VERONICA MARS

THURSDAY
8:00-8:30 PM EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS (New Series)
8:30-9:00 PM EVE
9:00-9:30 PM CUTS
9:30-10:00 PM LOVE, INC. (New Series)

FRIDAY
8:00-10:00 PM WWE SMACKDOWN!

Upfront Odds: The Fox New Offerings

Show: Prison Break, Mondays at 9:00
Description: A man becomes incarcerated solely to help his brother escape.
Analysis: High concept. Promos look good. Challenging but not unbeatable timeslot ccometition in Two and a Half Men and Las Vegas.
Odds of lasting a full season: 3-1
Over/under for number of episodes: 13

Show: Bones, Fridays at 8:00
Description: “Darkly amusing drama” about a forensic anthropologist with the ability to read clues left behind in a victim's bones.
Analysis: Friday night at 8? Who’s watching? I’d still choose this over that heinous looking CBS Jennifer Love Hewitt vehicle.
Odds of lasting a full season: 4-1
Over/under for number of episodes: 9

Show: Head Cases, Wednesdays at 9:00
Description: Chris O’Donnell stars as LA lawyer loses everything, goes batshit, and befriends “an unkempt, unpredictable sufferer of explosive disorder.”
Analysis: Huh?
Odds of lasting a full season: 5-1
Over/under for number of episodes: 8

Show: Reunion, Thursdays at 9:00
Description: Drama chronicling the lives of a group of six friends over the course of 20 years – all in just one season.
Analysis: Interesting concept. Shitty time slot (against CSI and The Apprentice). If it’s half as interesting as it sounds, it deserves a shot.
Odds of lasting a full season: 5-2
Over/under for number of episodes: 13

Show: The Gate (Working title), Fridays at 9:00
Description: Chilling stories of the bizarre crimes committed by San Francisco's most heinous criminals, investigated by the San Francisco Police Department's Deviant Crime Unit.
Analysis: Could work, especially at 9 against Dateline, Hope & Faith and CBS’ new Threshold.
Odds of lasting a full season: 2-1
Over/under for number of episodes: 17.5

Show: The War At Home, Sundays at 8:30
Description: “Witty, irreverent” family comedy.
Analysis: Buried within Fox’s somewhat successful Sunday lineup, could do OK- if it’s any good. Star Michael Rapaport is usually worth the price of admission.
Odds of lasting a full season: 3-2
Over/under for number of episodes: 18

Show: Kitchen Confidential, Mondays at 8:30
Description: Based on chef Anthony Bourdain's best-seller of the same name, this sitcom explores the crazy world of upscale restaurants.
Analysis: Love Tony Bourdain. Hate the idea of turning his great book into a tacky, unfunny sitcom (Emeril, anyone?), The thought of wet noodle Bradley Cooper (Alias) playing our hero is enough to make us lose our lunch. Oh, and don’t forget the weak lead-in it’ll surely get from Arrested Development.
Odds of lasting a full season: 8-1
Over/under for number of episodes: 7

13 More Shields

The Shield is about to be renewed for a fifth year on FX. An announcement from the cable channel of a 13-episode pickup for a fifth season is imminent, sources said.

The show, which signed up Glenn Close for its fourth year, has seen a nice ratings rebound this season.

As a Shield fan, however, I think this season has kinda sucked. But that's just me.

How You Feelin', Little Buddy?

Bob Denver, star of the 1960s television show "Gilligan's Island," is recuperating from quadruple heart bypass surgery, his agent said Wednesday.

No word on whether Denver, 70, wore his red shirt and white hat into the O.R.

Wiggin' Out! with Sydney Bristow! Week 19



Welcome to Wiggin' Out! with Sydney Bristow... our exclusive weekly wig count of the totally impregnated Alias star Jennifer Garner.

Episode 4 x 20: "The Descent"
Episode 4 x 21: "Search and Rescue"

Bottom line: Two above average (for season four, anyway) episodes... two wigs. Not bad- it certainly brings the average up.

Also: one marriage proposal (for the ladies); one secret relationship (also for the ladies); one more thought-dead character cheaply resurrected (to get the incredible Lena Olin some screen time); one deadly, giant, city-destroying, glowing sphere of Rambaldi; and, of course, one cloned character returning to his evil roots.

"The Descent" and "Search and Rescue" combined total: 2 wigs

Season total:
15 wigs

Get Lost! The Exodus, Part One



Part 1 of the 3-hour finale left a few questions answered (Sawyer's real name for one) but certainly raised many more.

The Frenchwoman comes out to warn everyone that "The Others" will be coming.... lots of black smoke.... so the answer is to go get dynamite at The Black Rock - a ship! We learn that we probably won't like Dr. Arzt very much - he's already annoying everyone....

We see lots of flashbacks about the day of the flight at the airport.... The raft launches finally, after some last-minute repairs.... Sawyer, Walt, Michael and Jin are off on a sea cruise... While everyone else run and hide from the "monster"... There was definitely this feeling that The Frenchwoman and Locke were gonna get it on too, very weird vibe.

Part 2 and 3 next week, and i'm sure we'll be talking about the finale all summer!

Sportztyme! Best Seat In The House



I know you’ve been sworn in, I have read your complaint.

I haven’t been in the TV business forever, some days it just seems like it. And I don’t have all the experience in the world, but I’ve covered the NFL for over a decade, been to over 50 NASCAR races, 6 NCAA tournaments, 11 years of PGA, LPGA, and Nationwide Tour golf, etc, etc.

I’ve been on the sidelines, in the pits, and between the ropes. I’ve been in the locker room, on the field, and courtside. I’ve seen it all, close up, talked with superstars and unknowns. I am, to a certain extent, living the sports fans dream. And, I get paid to do it.

I get the best seats and the best parking, all for free. And listen to me when I tell you: Stay home and watch it on TV.

I cannot honestly come up with more than one or two sporting events I would pay to see in person. The best seats aren’t worth $2000. They are the ones you use every day, in your living room, den, TV/Family room, wherever. Being there is OK, just to say you were there, or to say you did it. And some experiences television just can’t do justice. But by and large, staying at home (especially if you have HDTV) is by far more enjoyable.

You know what $18 buys you at your house? 20 longneck Bud Lights and a big bag of ice to keep it cold. Know what that same $18 buys you at any sporting event in this country. Maybe, MAYBE 3 lukewarm beers that will be well above room temperature by the time you march a half mile back to your seats and finish them. And the lines to the concession stands and restrooms? Non-existent at the house, and much closer facilities too. And no such worries about having one too many and driving home.

Parking? Not an issue in the driveway. Instant Replay? You got it, from seven different angles, and unlimited use if you’ve got InDemand or a TiVo. Your live experience, in some cases, is a one time only opportunity. Unless you taped it at home... OFF TV!!! Walking from your car to your seat? Only if you ran out to get more pizza and wings.

That ignorant a-hole who is sitting behind/in front/right next to you and hollering at the ref/coach/overpaid superjock sitting on the bench? Yeah, even if he’s your brother-in-law, he gets kicked off your couch.

The average sporting event costs a family anywhere between $150-$1500 to attend these days with tickets, parking, souvenirs and refreshments. Makes your cable/satellite bill a little easier to take now, doesn’t it?

Gotta go, gotta game.