Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Static From The Geek-In-Chief: NBC No Home Sweet Home for Mötley Crüe

After sabotaging themselves on national TV by using the most unmentionable of curse words, costing themselves future TV appearances and potentially thousands of sales, what’s an aging rock band to do?

The answer is simple: sue the bastards!

The story: on a New Year’s Eve appearance on the generally unwatchable Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Vince Neil, the rotund lead singer of the infamous metal band Mötley Crüe caused a rare moment of spontaneity when he let loose with a big, fat, juicy F word. The network responded, in kind, by banning the band from NBC for life.

Now the Crüe is saying that NBC’s actions are discriminatory and they’re suing for damages, claiming the network is preventing them from doing business by keeping them off NBC Universal’s properties. Pardon my ignorance, but how many more Peacock appearances did the Crüe think they were going to get? Sure, maybe a spot on Conan or Carson Daly, but where else? I’m not sure the folks at CNBC were clamoring to book them for an appearance on Power Lunch anytime soon, or if Tommy Lee was slotted for a future Queer Eye makeover on Bravo.

Whether one agrees with the increasingly strict FCC indecency guidelines (I don’t) is irrelevant. The truth is, thanks to Janet Jackson exposing her 40-year old flapjack during the Superbowl, there’s no room for error. Huge fines and broadcast licenses are at stake, and media giants must take steps to cover their collective kiesters. Banning a potty-mouthed 80’s hair band with expanding waistlines and waning popularity seems like a safe bet.

Also, I’m not sure when appearing on network television became an entitlement- nothing says anyone has to have you on. Especially when you do your best Al Swerengen impression on a nationally televised broadcast.

But the biggest reason to sue, of course, is the added publicity these “bad boys” are sure to get. The cynic in me would suggest the suit was nothing more than a gimmick to keep the Mötleys in the public eye long enough to squeeze out a couple more album sales. After all, they have to pay for the Weight Watchers and those visits to Dr. Feelgood somehow.

It’s the American way! Rock on!

Related link: Mötley Crüe says "Eff NBC!"

Seventh Heaven for Sopranos Fans?

We'll drink to this:

Even though David Chase insists he thinks he can wrap up the Sopranos storyline in its sixth season, he now is admitting a seventh isn't completely out of the question.

While this is far from a guarantee, it at least kicks the door open enough to give fans hope. Of course, if they did do another season, it probably wouldn't be ready to air until 2014.

Parents Object To Ad Featuring Paris' Fur Burger

A Carl's Jr. commercial starring a half naked, dripping wet Paris Hilton washing a car has the Parents Television Council's collective panties in a bunch.

''This commercial is basically soft-core porn,'' said Melissa Caldwell, research director for the Los Angeles-based watchdog group. ''It's inappropriate for television.''

The group plans to protest the ad and said it's considering asking the Federal Communications Commission to declare the commercial indecent.

Of course, these knuckleheads are once again just fueling interest in Carl's Jr, and Paris Hilton, fattening their bottom lines in the process. Now that's hot.

Related link: See the ad here!

Why is Star Jones Singing?

For the love of God, somebody please stop this egomaniac before it's too late.

Trump on Trump Unauthorized: "It's Quality"

Donald Trump, who threatened to "Sue their asses off" when hearing a biopic was being made on his life, said he was flattered by ABC's Trump Unauthorized.

After screening the picture, he called it a "great compliment" and won't pursue legal action.

I didn't see it, but it must have been a big-time ass-kiss.

Nightline's Tribute Sure To Irk Some, Touch Others

ABC will devote an entire Nightline broadcast later this month to a roll call of U.S. war dead.

Host Ted Koppel will read the names of more than 900 American servicemen and women killed in Iraq or Afghanistan during the past year, accompanied by photographs of the deceased.

A year ago, some political conservatives condemned a similar Nightline tribute as anti-war propaganda .

The Memorial Day special, titled "The Fallen," will air on May 30.

Viewer Discretion Is Advised

Rosie O’Donnell has agreed to follow up her epically embarassing role in Riding The Bus With My Sister on a show with subject matter she's a bit more familiar with: torrid gay sex.

Rosie has agreed to appear on Showtime’s Queer as Folk for three episodes. Apparently, she's a big fan and called the show’s producers to request a role on the show.

Her first episode airs Sunday. Hopefully she'll be wearing more than she did in Exit to Eden. (shudder)

Bruisin' Burt

Was he being playful? Or was he really pissed?

Nobody knows for sure, but Burt Reynolds slapped around a TV producer outside the premier of his new movie The Longest Yard Tuesday night.

The producer, who worked for CBS Newspath, said he hadn't seen Reynolds film, or the original 1974 version. So Reynolds smacked him. "What... kind of guy are you?" Reynolds asked.

WCBS-TV aired the footage Wednesday morning. The producer was just off-camera, but you could hear the hand-on-cheek violence.

Related link: See the exclusive video from WCBS!

Peter's Back- Sort Of

Peter Jennings was back in the office yesterday, helping put together World News Tonight.

He did not, however, appear on camera. He hasn't done that since April 5, when a taped a message to viewers aired. He has, however, been part of story discussions while undergoing chemotherapy for lung cancer.

Mötley Crüe: "Eff NBC"

In what's either a noble fight against stifling network indecency guidelines- or a huge publicity stunt- Mötley Crüe is suing NBC.

The Crüe is claiming that the Peacock violated their free-speech rights and hurt their sales by banning them from its airwaves after paunchy, plastiqued lead singer Vince Neil dropped an F bomb on The Tonight Show.

With the FCC raging out of control, can you blame NBC for covering their asses and banning these noted potty mouths? Even if they do, like, really rock?

5/25 This Date In Wendie Jo Sperber History

McFly! Linda McFly, that is: on this date in 1990, 15 years ago, Wendie's Back to the Future III was released.