Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Bunch of Boobs Picket ABC

This story really sucks:

Nearly 150 angry breastfeeding moms staged a "nurse-in" yesterday outside ABC's Manhattan studios . Why? They're protesting anti-breastfeeding comments made by Barbara Walters on unwatchable talk show The View.

Walters said she felt awkward sitting next to a woman who was breast-feeding on an airplane. Moronic co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who is nursing her daughter, Grace, said she was "uncomfortable breast-feeding in general."

The mass of massive-mammaried milkmaids think the on-air comments will discourage new moms from breastfeeding. Hopefully, it will just discourage them from watching The View.

And really, moms: a little modesty on occasion would help. I'm all for breastfeeding- but I'm not necessarily for seeing your flabby flapjack stuffed into little Freddy's mouth. Unless you're Eva Longoria... then I'd politely ask you to share.

Castaway Call

Want to be a future participant in Battle of the Network Reality TV Stars?

Here's your chance: CBS is now casting for the next Survivor. The 12th go-round is scheduled to air in Spring 2006 and will originate from an as yet undisclosed location.

Teeny Tiny Tonys

Spamalot didn't make people watch a lot.

The runaway success of Broadway's hottest show didn't help CBS' broadcast of Sunday's Tony Awards, In fact, the show drew just 6.6 million viewers and only a 1.4 rating among adults 18-49 on CBS, an all-time low.

No... THIS is CNN

CNN announced on Monday its new focus on hard news and analysis, steering away from opinion and talk.

CNN bigshot Jon Klein, insists the changes are not meant to directly counter Fox News Channel, which continues to kick CNN's ass in a big way.

He also insists the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny are real.

Changes include replacing the axed Bill Hemmer with Miles O'Brien on American Morning, giving Wolf Blitzer an ungodly three hour midday news chunk called The Situation Room, and shitcanning Inside Politics and Crossfire.

Sizzlin' Hott Starlet Deserted

ABC has confirmed that Fast and the Furious star Michelle Rodriguez is joining the cast of Lost next season.

Her character, Ana-Lucia Cortez, appeared in the season finale, flirting with Jack (Matthew Fox) in an airport bar shortly before they both boarded the doomed flight.

It's not yet apparent how she'll be written into the show, since the characters have been on the island for, like, 40 days without even so much as a glimpse of the latin hottie.

Hurley Sheds Pounds Without Hurling

No, it's not due to binging and purging, but Lost star Jorge Garcia is finally looking a bit more like an emaciated desert island survivor these days. Well, sorta.

He's dropped 30 pounds thanks to a low-carb diet. It would be harder, of course, if there were Krispy Kremes on the island.

99 Words Under: A Coat of White Primer

Get that therapist on speed dial: here's our 99 word recap of this week's Six Feet Under.

Claire considers shacking up with sister-lovin' Billy, even though he's bonkers. Baby craving David and Keith debate surrogate vs adoption. Federico dates because Vanessa won't take him back. Mopey, miscarrying Brenda finally marries Nate, while vaginally bleeding like a stuck pig. Afterwards, Ruth slaps snap-happy Claire for photographing drooly, spilly, certifiable George. Dead Lisa lectures Brenda while she pops pills, whines, and cries. The semi-happy couple dances while a seagull eats wedding cake and all the other cast members brood. Brenda has a DNC, Nate cries, and the screen fades to white as each viewer prepares their own noose.

The Geek-in-Chief writes 99 Words Under every Tuesday while figuring out how to deal with the depression that comes from watching TV's biggest downer.

Tonight's Tube

Tonight's premieres: Fire Me, Please on CBS; and Blow Out and Queer Eye For the Straight Guy, both on Bravo.

Or, you can just watch me pick the stuff out from between my toes. Either way, it's your loss.

TV on DVD: This Week's New Releases

✪ The Dead Zone: Season Three (3-disc set)
Dragnet 1967: Season One
Frasier: Season Five (4-disc set)
Home Improvement: Season Two
Lois & Clark: Season One (6-disc set)
MacGyver: Season Two (5-disc set)
Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica: Seasons 2-3
Quincy, M.E.: Seasons 1-2 (3-disc set)
Rescue Me: Season One (3-disc set)
Sanford & Son: Season Six (3-disc set)
SCTV: One On the Town/Polynesiantown
SCTV: Southside Fracas/The Sammy Maudlin Show
SNL: The Best of Jon Lovitz
SNL: The Best of Tom Hanks
✪ The Sopranos: Season Five (4-disc set)
The Thorn Birds: Complete Collector's Edition (2-disc set) (1983)
The Thorn Birds: The Missing Years (1996)
Wanted: Dead or Alive: Season One (4-disc set) (1958)
Wonder Woman: Season Three (4-disc set)
The X-Files Mythology: Abduction (4-disc set)

✪ TVGS Recommendation

Idiot Box Poll Results: Dancing With The Stars

We asked: What's worse than Dancing with the Stars?

You answered:
Oprah's sweaty, stretch-marked back fat 47%
Star Jones' secret wedding night videos 23%
Deleted scenes from Will & Grace 7%
Anything on Bravo 5%
None of the above 5%