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Thursday, June 16, 2005

Sportztyme! Sucker Punch



I'm giving you 50 bucks. What do you do with it?

You can save it. You can buy a few cases of beer. You can sit in on a $1-$3 No Limit Texas Hold-em game. You can make 4 or 5 trips to my favorite Chinese all you can eat buffet place.

You can go on Ebay and make a bid on practically anything. There are literally thousands of things you can do with just $50.

One thing you shouldn't do, however, is order a pay-per-view boxing match featuring Mike Tyson. But, apparently, thousands of people in this country still do just that.

Tyson's most recent escapade was a bout against someone named Kevin McBride. Seemed harmless enough: The former champ getting back in the ring, looking to reclaim lost fortune and glory against an opponent hand picked because of his presumed lack of skill. Too bad Tyson was the one lacking skill.

For some reason, boxers can't go quietly into that good night. They always think they can do it one more time... pull off one last great bout... pull in one last huge payday. And perhaps more than any other fighter of this generation, Tyson was the guy who made people pay attention. He was a car accident- you couldn't help but watch.

Now, there's no further reason to watch. Tyson found out the hard way that he is not the 19-year old kid who can knock men out with one swift haymaker. He is the 38-year old former champ who just doesn't have the rage in his heart to be a vicious pugilist anymore. He's done, and he now knows it. If he can't beat someone like McBride... as Tyson correctly stated after the fight: "I don't want to disgrace the sport."

So, no more PPV's, no more calling your cable company, no more pitching in to watch at a friend's house. You know it's reported that Tyson had gone through over $300 million had earned in the sport? Seems like he was trying to make it back $50 at a time.

Tambor Admits: "I'm a Big, Weepy Pussy"

Arrested Development star Jeffrey Tambor admits he nearly cried when the acclaimed but ignored Fox comedy was renewed.

Him and me both.

The Emmy-winning comedy will return for its third season on Fox this fall, sure to be accompanied by a brand new round of cancellation rumors.

Shield Finishes Strong

FX's The Shield finished its season strong.

A total of 3.2 million viewers tuned in to the Tuesday's finale, which cemented the season as its second highest rated ever.

The show will go into production in September in anticipation of its return early next year.

Networks Eschewing Jackson Reality

There seems to be little interest in that Jackson family reality show.

According to USA Today, Fox, ABC and A&E Network have all told the Jackson clan to beat it. The hunt for a home continues.

The show purports to show the behind-the-scenes machinations of the Jackson family during and after the trial. Jeez, that sounds like a real thriller.