Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Tonight's Tube

One word: Lost!

Two scary words: Yes, Dear!

And plenty of words in the middle: CSI: NY, Law & Order, Invasion, The Apprentice: Martha Strewart. Big tube night, folks.

Earl's Name Is Ratings

NBC has stunned the TV world with a strong opening for its heavily promoted new comedy My Name Is Earl.

It probably helped that the show was pretty funny.

The Jason Lee-led comedy, along with The Biggest Loser and Law & Order: SVU, led the network to win the second night of the TV season comfortably.

The one weak spot for the 'Cockers: The Office, which hemmoraged over a third of Earl's viewers in its half hour to allow House to grab the slot lead.

Additionally, CBS' finale of Rock Star: INXS produced the highest ratings of that series' mostly disappointing three-month run, but still finished second to SVU.

Open the Hatch!

Hey Losties, the wait is over: tonight, supposedly, we'll finally find out what's down the hatch.

The answer was revealed last week to thousands of frenzied fans at a special screening of the new season's first episode in Waikiki Beach. Somehow, I've been able to avoid being spoiled thus far.

But we won't have to worry about that much longer.

He's Just Right For Their Band, INXS

An opportunity was elegantly wasted last night on CBS' Rock Star INXS last night, when the off-putting Canadian J.D. Fortune was named lead singer.

But this band hasn't had a hit single since the mid-90's, so what do they know?

Apparently the increasing ratings have spurned interest in a second edition of Rock Star. Executive Producer and reality TV's resident King Shit of Fuck Mountain Mark Burnett says he's talking to several bands about starring in the next edition of the show.

INXS' new iTunes single, "Pretty Vegas," will be available for download October 4th, with their new album Switch hitting stores November 29.

Eva Longoria: Overexposed?

I can think of two areas in particular where she could use a bit more exposure.

Heck, I'll even supply the venue, and a few snacks and drinks. Whaddya say? Eva?

Better decide quickly, before you officially become, as this article says, "the next Suzanne Somers."

Nighty Night, Ted: You're Being Replaced

ABC News is close to naming three replacements for splitting Nightline anchor Ted Koppel.

ABC news vets Cynthia McFadden, Terry Moran and Martin Bashir, are in negotiations to take the reins of the show. They'll be tasked with holding on to the existing audience, as well as building loyalty with the younger viewers those zany age-bashing advertisers crave.

Koppel is set to leave the show in December.

Fat Actress Loses 50 Pounds

...and is somehow still fat.

Go Figure.

If her show is renewed, I guess they'll have to rename it Not Nearly as Fat But Still Chunky Actress.

Monday Ratings Battle: Round 1

Critics didn't particularly dig it, but NBC's new science fiction drama Surface had a decent premiere Monday night, snaring 11.2 million viewers, while airing against a special football game and a glut of similar series.

Meanwhile, our darling, Fox's Arrested Development, shit the bed big time in its new slot, collecting a pathetic 4.6 million viewers. And CBS' "Two and a Half Men" had 15 million viewers for its debut in the crucial 9 p.m. Eastern time slot, decent but 7 percent below last year's "Everybody Loves Raymond season premiere.

And Medium , with Emmy winning man-handed star Patricia Arquette, saw no bounce from the award: ABC's Monday Night Football and CBS's CSI: Miami held it to just 12.7 million viewers.