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Friday, October 07, 2005

Next Time, Maybe They'll Adopt

Rumors abound that NBC has finally officially put its Friday abortion Inconceivable out of its misery. Big shocker, since this was pegged as stillborn in May.

Also axed: the WB's always-sounded-like-a-bad-idea Just Legal.

How is it that we, as viewers, can tell which shows will fail from a one-paragraph description in an AP article, months before a single airing, yet the oblivious networks still spend millions on such piffle? Baffling.

Martha Allowed Into, And Unfortunately Out Of, Canada

Martha Stewart may be a convicted felon- but that won't keep her from going North of the Border.

Martha will head to Canada this Sunday to participate in a local pumpkin boat race. Because of her conviction, she needs a special permit to enter the country. U.S. citizens normally don't require a visa or a passport to go to Canada- just a healthy hankering for Molson and Kids In The Hall is all you need. But because of her conviction for lying to investigators, she needs a special permit.

Canadian officials called her yesterday, according to reports, and assured her that a permit was no problem. Now, if we could just get them to keep her...

INXS Tour Becomes Reality

Legendary Australian rockers INXS, along with their overrated and undertalented new lead singer J.D. Fortune, have officially announced their North American tour.

The INXS "Switched On" tour is scheduled to begin Jan. 18 in Vancouver, British Columbia and will hit 22 cities in total.

The irritating Fortune was the winner on the CBS reality show Rock Star: INXS. I didn't like him, but also didn't really think any of the other schmoes would be a better choice. He replaces Michael Hutchence, who committed suicide in 1997.

Their album "Switch" will be released November 29.

Ted Tunes Out

Yo, newsies: your boy Teddy Koppel will say "Fuck all, y'all" and bail out of Nightline on November 22.

ABC News will likely be replacing him with a few young, fly anchors and a snazzy new bi-locational format that will have all those hip 18-49 year old tongues a' flappin'. Can't wait!

Winging It Live

NBC has confirmed that it will, in fact, air a live episode of the fading West Wing next month.

The episode, scheduled for November 6, will feature a presidential debate between Democratic candidate Matt Santos (Jimmy Smits) and Republican contender Arnold Vinick (Alan Alda). And they'll do it live twice- once for the East Coast, and one for the West.

The whole exercise, of course, seems fairly pointless. Is there any chance that the liberal producing team will replace Martin Sheen's President Bartlett with a Republican? If we actually gave a crap, we'd say no.

But Do We Care?

The latest celebrity fish-out-of-water reality show is about to drop, and, really, we couldn't be happier. No, seriously.

The new VH1 series But Can They Sing? will feature theoretically tuneless thespians Joe Pantoliano, Morgan Fairchild, Kim Alexis and Carmine Gotti attempting to sing their socks off. Oh, goody.

Rumor has it producers decided against asking Ashlee Simpson because they wanted it to be, you know, a bit harder to pick a winner.