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Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Another Big Change At Embattled CBS News

The other shoe has dropped.

Confirming the speculation that has roiled since the Dan Rather "Memogate" scandal cost the anchor his chair, word now is that CBS News Chief Andrew Heyward is out of a job.

... about time he took his share of the fall... everyone else involved was shitcanned or crippled in by the scandal's weight...

Heyward will be replaced by CBS Sports President Sean McManus, who will retain control of both divisions in a scenario very similar to the one of the late Roone Arledge at ABC.

... makes sense, with the ridiculous liberal bias permeating the Eye net's football and golf coverage... just kidding, but you know comments like that are coming...

NBC Bigshot: Network "Desperate" For a Hit

NBC Universal King Shit of Fuck Mountain Bob Wright says his network is "desperate" for a new hit show.

...um... YEAH...

After ranking No. 1 for eight of the past ten years, the 'cockers shit the bed big time last year. This year has been no different, with several underperforming new entries- and the graying of old warhorses like ER.

Wright admits rebuilding its program schedule will take more than one season.

...or, likely, even two or three...

This year, ABC sits atop the network ranks among viewers aged 18 to 49 ("the only demo NBC cares about!"), thanks to sophomore shows Desperate Housewives, Lost and Grey's Anatomy.

...of course, a reminder that two years ago, NBC passed on Housewives, which proves you're better off being lucky than good...

Quivers Yakker May Not Go

Robin Quivers' rise to daytime TV stardom may end before it even begins.

...you mean there may be one less talk show to ignore come next fall?...

With a glut of new talk shows (including Rachael Ray and Megan Mullally) in the pipeline, and with this year's newcomers (Martha and Tyra Banks struggling), execs may choose to table the project for another year, or kill it completely.

...surprising, because our spies say Quivers was unexpectedly good in test shows, even if the format was pretty straightforward...

Prison Rape Me, Elmo

Hey Elmo: can you spell "incarceration"?

A man dressed as the red, insipid puppet was one of three impersonators arrested last week for allegedly harassing tourists for tips after posing for photos on Hollywood Boulevard.

...just when you thought at least you could escape the high-pitched monster when you left your house...

The faux-Elmo, along with people dressed as Mr. Incredible and the dark-hooded character from the horror movie Scream, were charged with misdemeanor "aggressive begging," police said.

...sounds just like a PBS pledge drive!...

World Series Striking Out With Viewers

With no Red Sox or "Curse of the Bambino" to mystify the games, Fox's World Series Coverage are down a whopping 33% from the first two games last year.

...well, yeah... what casual fan is getting a stiffie from ChiSox-Astros?...

Games 1 and 2 averaged 16 million viewers, down more than 8 million from those watching the first two contests between the Red Sox and Cardinals last year.

...it's a shocker that Scooter (the retarded talking baseball) and FoxTrax (that stupid, ghosty smear they put on pitch replays) don't have the games doing a 50 share...

Brian Williams and Nightly News Dual Crown Champ

NBC Nightly News topped the evening news race in both viewers and adults 25-54.

ABC won the past two weeks in the vital news demographic.

...a pattern very worrisome to the 'Cockers...

For the week, NBC had 9.4 million viewers, followed by ABC World News Tonight's 8.3 million, and ht e7.25 million still watching CBS Evening News.

...not exactly earth shattering, but cut me some slack... seems to be a slow TV news day...