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Monday, February 06, 2006

Sportztyme! The Super Blog

Today, I turn over TVGeekSpeak to our Sportzguy Uncle Buster, who's been hibernating of late. We welcome him back with this live blog from yesterday's game... the perspective of a long-suffering Steelers fan (who also happens to cover sports for a living). Take it away...

I think the Super Bowl pre-game show actually started on Wednesday afternoon. However, being in the house with a 2 year old, you’re viewing habits sometimes revolve around naptime. So, my log of Super Bowl Sunday begins at 4pm…..

4:04 – ABC’s crew hits the air with former Dallas Cowboys receiver Michael Irvin right in the middle of the action. If you’re not familiar with Irvin, he’s to football what John Belushi was to comedy. Talented, but what a train wreck! Irvin is wearing a tie with a knot so big you could land a 747 on it. He’s one of those former superstars who just craves the attention and will do, say or wear anything to get it. Kinda sad. Plus, he’s barely literate judging by his vocabulary and speech patterns.

4:05 – One of the half dozen times today I will see Jessica Simpson’s Pizza Hut ad. Regardless of what you might think of her singing, acting, or lifestyle in general, she is smokin’ hott! Especially in those Daisy Duke shorts. Our Geek-In-Chief will disagree, but even though I wouldn’t eat anything that comes out of a Pizza Hut kitchen, I’d let her feed me anytime!

Sure, she's hott, but one glance of that pizza with the crust-nuggets nearly launched several buffalo wings right out of my tum-tum. Geek-in-Chief

4:07 – ESPN’s Kenny Mayne interviews Stevie Wonder. Mayne, more of a comic than reporter, tries to play it straight by lauding Wonder’s “message of love” in his music. Wonder tells him "you were so bad in Dancing With The Stars, I’m glad I’m blind!!!" Ouch, Stevie.

5:05 – CBS is showing a golf tournament from Arizona that someone named J.B. Holmes is about to win. I don’t care if it’s Larry, Katie or even John Holmes, if Tiger isn’t playing, it becomes an "MCI Event" because only friends and family give a rat’s ass about who wins.

5:07 – NBC is showing the World Poker Tour. No one cares about these faceless degenerates either, but props to NBC for acknowledging the 500 pound gorilla in the room with a "Countdown To Kickoff" clock in the upper right hand corner. Of course, it’s sponsored.

5:19 – ABC’s Robin Roberts interviews Mick Jagger. His answers must reflect the length of his attention span these days.

5:37 – Budweiser ad featuring August Busch IV. How much money you think that dude is worth anyway??? (as I crack open my third Bud Light of the evening)

6:00 – Wonder leads a cast of characters through some of his best loved tunes, except the audio guy is about a half song behind. How else to explain lips moving with nothing coming out? On everyone!!!

6:13 – Aaron Neville begins the National Anthem with an extremely pained look on his face, as though singing is pushing him to his physical limit. Then I realized that Aretha Franklin had just stepped on his foot.

6:17 – Several of the players in this year’s Super Bowl appear in an ad where they practice saying "I’m going to Disneyworld!", the traditional line uttered by the game’s MVP. I liked this ad a lot, showed a more intimate side of some of these athletes. One of the best of the night.

6:33 – The first commercial break after kickoff included a spot from Burger King featuring the "Whopperettes". There goes $2 million straight down the drain. That’s the best they could come up with???

6:39 – Sierra Mist similarly blows a huge wad of money on a spot featuring Kathy Griffin, Jim Gaffigan, and Ian Michael Black, three of the most un-funny people ever to roam the Earth. All the ad needed was Mo Rocca to become the biggest waste of cash on comedy since The Jimmy Kimmel Show went on the air.

7:17 – CareerBuilder.com has restored my faith in Super Bowl advertising with my favorite spot of the night. Monkeys are almost always funny, but this time they trashed an office to Quiet Riot’s 80s anthem "Cum On Feel The Noize," which of course, is one of my all-time favorite tunes.

8:40 – Ben Roethlisberger throws an interception that my 2 year old could have picked off. He said later his head wanted to throw it somewhere else, but his arm didn’t listen. Why are his body parts talking in the first place?

9:15 – Props to Sprint for channeling the late Benny Hill for their latest spot!!

9:18 – Ok, my team is up by 4, but the Seahawks are driving and about to score. I realize my son’s black and yellow football has been lying on the ground all day, ignored. After I pick it up, Pittsburgh gets a sack, then an interception. Coincidence? I think not!

9:27 – Just as Pittsburgh is pulling off a trick play for the final touchdown of the night, my son runs into the room and throws a ball straight into my 7th Bud Light of the night. The only disappointment from me comes because he threw it with his right hand, and he had been favoring his left lately. If he wants to be a relief pitcher until his 60th birthday, he’ll switch, and quickly.

10:03 – Final gun, and the Steelers have one for the thumb. ABC does their best with the postgame, but they never interview Seattle coach Mike Holmgren. Like we care what that loser has to say anyway!!!

2 other geekspeak:

  • Nice to see Uncle Buster back. I've missed him and some of the other contributors who used to appear here. Bring back the weekly columns and recaps!

    By Blogger Roon, at 2:49 PM  

  • I agree- but they all bailed on me. Bastards!!!

    By Blogger GeekInChief, at 3:06 PM  

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