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Thursday, January 12, 2006

A&E: Definitely Not Arts, and Entertainment Is Also Up For Debate

A&E, a cable network once known for the highbrow, has changed in the last few years. Just in case you hadn't noticed that Growing Up Gotti wasn't exactly Poirot.

Now, the network has announced a few new shows in development. Seems they're aiming a tad lower. Here's the list, complete with GeekSpeak (thanks to the wonderful folks at Cynposis):

A Guy Walks into a Bar: Sketch comedy featuring George "I swear I'm not typecast" Wendt. Don't save me a stool.

Commander Castle: Half hour reality series focused on whacked-out British police consultant. Blimey! Sounds awful!

Driving Force: More reality, giving us a behind the scenes look at drag racer John Force and his daughters. Because there's just not enough of this stuff on the air.

God or the Girl: Four guys must decide between marriage or going into the monestary where they will train to become Roman Catholic priests. Now this one sounds interesting. Don't miss the altar boy lightning round!

Finally a Family: Two sets of parents compete to adopt the same child. Icky and exploitative concept. Surprised Lifetime didn't beat them to it. Why would anyone agree to have their lives televised in this way?

Gene Simmons' Family Jewels: Kiss rocker Gene Simmons hopes to take his clan to Ozzland in this reality knockoff.

King of Cars: Las Vegas car dealer and infomercial king gets a national outlet to hawk his wares.

Polar Posse: Alaskan firefighters and EMS volunteers save lives- if they can find anyone- in our Great White North.

I hope for next year they develop a show that looks behind the scenes as robotic Bill Kurtis gets his batteries changed and his joints oiled... or we get to see that hidden camera footage of despondent A & E execs after losing Law & Order.

Well, at least they're getting the effing Sopranos.

The Chief Export of Chuck Norris is Pain, And Other Facts You Never Knew About Walker, Texas Ranger Himself

This is hilarious.

The man's a god.

Who knew?